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Michael~ Offline
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My Depression - August 7th 2010, 01:45 AM

This is my first ever post on the forum. So, here goes.

I have been feeling depressed for a while now and feel many of the symptoms of the disease. I can't pinpoint an official date or anything but I usually would say it started to become an issue about 13 months ago. However, I can trace back feelings of depression all the way back to October of 2007. I finally told my parents about my depression in May and now I see a psychologist every once in a while. I also take a marginal dose of St. John's Wort supplement.

However, I don't think this is helping. I have a lot of issues to deal with and most will never go away (i.e. gender issues). I don't know how I'll ever be really happy. I'm also gay and really want somebody but I know hardly any other gay males. Well, I know some, but none are right for me. I have a lot more to say but I'd rather not say it all right now.

Thanks if you read this,

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Re: My Depression - August 7th 2010, 02:26 AM

hi my name is michael too, maybe u could try some 5-htp too, thats also available just like st johns wort is available. however, about the gay male thing, i know some gays and im straight and not very social and even i know some of the gays who are open. the best way is just to come out and then people who are still "in" will know u are gay without having to come out themselves or something, idk. u need to know where to look , anywhere remotely conservative or traditional is a bad place, as is probably anywhere that is full of very masculine males. anywhere that has a lot of atheists , smart people, artistic people ,etc is gonna have a lot of more liberal people and thus it will be more conducive for gays to come out and therefore it will be easier to find a partner since u will know who is gay. my school is a magnet school and a lot of people are liberal ,smart, atheists, and also very accepting of gays (for some reason these 4 characteristics always go together).

why are u depressed? thats a good question to ask yourself. if u are worried if u will ever find a partner then u will, just move to key west, ive been there and believe me u will have NO problem finding a gay male there , its almost as if u feel like a minority being straight there (slight exaggeration)
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Re: My Depression - August 7th 2010, 04:13 AM

Why are you depressed? Are you lonely? (thats why Im depressed)

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Michael~ Offline
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Re: My Depression - August 7th 2010, 02:30 PM

Thanks for your input guys!

I'm depressed for many reasons. A part of it is that I hate my school as it is a very stifling environment. Michael, it is completely full of masculine guys and is probably the worst environment for me to be in. However, my parents are making me go there because it is very prestigious and academic.

Yes, I'm very lonely. I'm lonely in terms of not having friends but I also really want a partner, too. I've never been approached as being attractive at all. It's really hard though because I have pretty bad social anxiety and don't ever want to go out with people even if they ask me. Ha, I want to meet somebody but am afraid to actually try! I pretty much stand in my own way.

I just find no joy in life and everything seems to stress me out. And I'll ask about that supplement, Michael. I need to try something.
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Re: My Depression - August 7th 2010, 02:44 PM

Hi Michael

Well i can see where your coming from But Honestly, you will find someone You have no need to worry about that. Feeling lonely isnt necesserily about not having a partner, u just need to find people like family and friends who make you feel more secure and at home If u ever need anyone to speak to im here for now anyway

Pm me if u want x
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Re: My Depression - August 8th 2010, 02:14 PM

Thanks very much ShannonM. It's not all about the partner thing, but it does affect me. Nobody really tries to get to know me. If we do, then we just talk occasionally about random stuff and it's all about them.

I also have to take my final driver's test to get my license and I'm SUPER worried. I don't know if it's anxiety or just normal jitters but I'm not really myself. It's 9 days away and every day feels like the day of the test and I can hardly ever relax. I don't even want my license anyway (I know, it's weird). Life is just not fun.
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Re: My Depression - August 8th 2010, 03:23 PM

Heya Michael!
You'll find someone, don't you worry! Try not searching too hard and you'll find it! (:

Oh, best of luck for the driver's test! Don't concentrate on it too much, as in, don't think of it like a test, but just another activity on your list of things to do on that day, helps me alot!!
Lol, I live in India, I'm 18 and I'm yet to get my license, so it's nothing really, to me. Lol.

School can get pretty bad. Sometimes I really hate it. I used to be really bad at making friends. What really helped me was the fact that I made myself feel confident about me. I went through a stage of depression. My doctor advised me not to take any meds. Apparently the meds don't really help. They are more like temporary help, which will make you feel better at first, then lose their effect after a while and could actually make you feel worse.
I was advised to look into myself and probe into every corner of my life and see what caused my depression. It could be one triggering things, or many things that have all added up to it. Insecurities, events that hurt us so bad we repressed it, people who've inhibited us, stuff like that. And when you find the causes, confront what you are afraid of doing, or are afraid of. It will definitely make you more self-confidence and boost your self-esteem and therefore make you happy and how can you be depressed if you're happy right? I'm almost never in a bad mood these days. Positive thoughts are what I've used and affirmations.
It takes more time than meds do, but they have a long lasting effect, which is what, I'm sure is what you looking for, yeah? (:

Best of luck!! If you want to talk, please feel free to PM/VM me anytime at all!!!

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Re: My Depression - August 9th 2010, 01:02 PM

When person can't get which he/she want or desire then depressed from life. But as my view it is the part of life. You should accept it and continue with your routine activity. There must be necessary to come out from the depression immediately otherwise it is harmful for the health and carrier.
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