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Icy_fighter Offline
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My major personal problem thats destroying my social life. Please help.? - August 10th 2010, 07:58 AM

I can almost NEVER look at someones eyes without feeling like a goofball. Whenever someone is looking at my eyes and we make eye contact, all of a sudden I cant hold onto the eye contact because my eyes and face feel all distorted which forces me to break away and look somewhere else.

Itís the vulnerability that gets to me. I donít really know how my face looks or if my face is really making an unconscious reaction to something/someone when I make eye contact. Some reactions Iím just not comfortable with sharing with strangers. I also donít wish for anyone I make eye contact with me to feel that I am encroaching upon them or trying to be creepy. That, and I feel like sometimes I am inviting unwanted conversation when I make eye contact. I am not yet comfortable with striking up conversation with just anyone, due to total fear of my lack of speech abilities and insecurity of how my eyes and face looks.

Due to these above fears and insecurities, Iíve made this a habit with family and friends, too, even though I enjoy conversations with them. I want to learn to open up and enjoy eye contact. I want to convey confidence and warmth with my eyes. I know I have a really cool person in myself, but I never get the opportunity let my true self come out because of my stupid problem and it is really affecting my social life.

So what I really want to know, is what can I do about this? What can I do to help myself make eye contact without looking like a freak so that the other person may feel comfortable and can get to know each other? Is there any techniques I can use to help myself ease into comfortable eye contact? Please help me.
   
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Re: My major personal problem thats destroying my social life. Please help.? - August 12th 2010, 12:53 AM

Hello and firstly welcome to TeenHelp.

I know based on past memories and what my mother has said to me about my childhood I used to have some a similar problem when I was a lot younger related to my Asperger's syndrome and my social impediments which used to have a big impact on my life.

I am thinking that it might help to try working with your own reflection, then you would not have to feel any guilt about screwing up because there is nobody else that is seeing this trouble you are having at the particular moment. I'm thinking it would help you regain your confidence and realize that you aren't doing anything wrong by attempting to socialize, and understand what you are or are not doing with your face. It may take an effort when it comes to speaking with others, but try thinking about it as if you were looking at yourself, and I think you should be able to gradually recover with time.

It may help to see a professional therapist about this, I know when I had this issue amongst others several years ago I had gone to several and this is one trick I remember that helped me.
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