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Hope55 Offline
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Emotionless - August 11th 2010, 07:03 AM

I woke up this morning with thoughts of my past. As usual the sence of failure washed over me and I felt the urge to cry in order to release the pain, yet just as suddenly as I felt the pain, I blocked it out. I became like a stone wall. Utterly depleated of emotion.
As the day progressed I began to notice how damaging this coping mechanism can and will be in my life. I remained completely emotionless although I recieved a quite beautiful gift. I cannot say how much I appreciated the gift and how much I value the person who gave it to me, yet I could not display this. Its as though I have forgotten how to allow myself to feel emotions. And how to display these emotions adequatley.
Somehow I feel as though having emotions is a weakness, yet anger becomes an exception.

Is there a way to break this cycle? Where do I start? Can I do this on my own?
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Re: Emotionless - August 12th 2010, 01:49 AM


To be honest, I think the only way you can break yourself of this feeling or 'emotionless' is to get to the bottom of why it is occuring. I suffered from this same thing too. And when I came to the realization that I no longer wanted to feel this way I started really thinking about why I didn't have any emotions; I ended up coming to the conclusion that I did, in fact, have emotions but they were too intense for me to deal with so I shut them off and just like you anger was the exception.

In my minds eye anger protected me; if I would get mad at someone because they had, recently or in the past, hurt me I wouldn't be letting them know that I was hurt. Instead I was just letting my anger take control and protect me by making people think I was mad.

I too felt that any emotion outside of anger was a weakness and to be honest I still feel this way at times. I don't know if those feelings will ever completely go away because I have been conditioned to feel that my emotions didn't matter or they were not important. However just by shutting off the 'valve' that tells me not to let people in and not to show my emotions helped a lot.

And, once I started exploring feelings and letting myself get sad and cry or be hurt or be happy etc it started to improve. One thing I did to help with this was a feeling wheel (http://www.wecarewelistenwehelp.com/feeling-wheel-large.html) This would help me identify the different emotions that I had running around inside of me. Once I could identify what I was feeling, which sometimes I had to look up the word in the dictionary or sometimes I would just sit and stare at the wheel for a long while, I would then write about that emotion and how I knew I was feeling that way.

For example; I would pick out joyful and I would express why I felt that way by saying 'The feeling of excitement and hope running through my body is amazing. The feeling of seeing life as great and seeing life as fun and wanting to laugh are all signs that I am joyful."

And, there were times when I would have to ask someone 'how do you know you are happy? What are the signs?' etc. Sometimes asking other people what they felt was a sign of happiness (or any other emotion out there) helped me recognize my own feelings.

Maybe trying the feeling wheel and journaling it will help you?

A lot of the reason people feel emotionless is because they do not allow themselves to tap into to the emotions that they have rolling around inside of them. Sometimes it is due to fear and other times it is due to being out of touch with there body and the reasons go on and on. The best thing you can do is try to tap into those emotions. It might take a lot of work but with time it will be possible to get rid of this feeling of emotionless.

Lastly, seeking help from a therapist might help as well because they are trained in helping people identify what they are feeling, open up about it and cope with those feelings. I know my therapist has really helped me come to terms with my feelings.

I hope this helped and if you need anything please feel free to pm me.


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Re: Emotionless - August 12th 2010, 09:36 PM

Thank you so much. I have already learned a considerable amount with that wheel.
In case anyone else reads this with the same problem I found this link to a website that I hope helps, I am going to test it out

Its an article in mkprojects .com
Under Free articles
Article name-Emotions- How to Understand, Identify, Release Your Emotions
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