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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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BloodRedRose Offline
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Name: Kaycee
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Unhappy I CANT TAKE IT - August 12th 2010, 08:01 PM

I cant take the depression much more now I'm not saying I'm going to commit suicide because I've tried and failed in the past and Im just not to the point were all hope is lost still it dont feel good being were I am I have nothing of my own right now and it hurts I have failed in every way I have not finished school dont have a job dont have family that gives a damn I have my bf and a few close friends some of witch have become more of a family then my blood but still right now it just dont feel like its enough. Is that horable? I KNOW I do have in some ways alot its just not what I expected to have at my age.. growing up I wanted to be in collage by now but I have not even gotten my GED I can feel my depression returning full forse again and I barely want to get out of bed I'm fighting back tears and don't know were to go or were to turn I dont have a stedy job no helth insurance and the mental health clinics around here SUCK and bounce you around to the point you dont even want to go... I was on celixa but now I dont have a dr to go to so no script I do yoga and all that and it helps somewhat but right now.. nothings helping. It might just be PMS right now but still its hurting right now. I can't even cry its so rare that I DO cry when I was a kid my mother told me big girls dont cry and for a long time I replaced crying with cutting now I dont cut AS much and I'm trying to replace cutting with other things but everytime I cry I feel worse in the end.... the tears wont come... I want to go for a walk but its way to hot out to do that right now... maybe I just needed to talk or something..
   
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Re: I CANT TAKE IT - August 12th 2010, 08:20 PM

Talking does help get your emotions out. Depression is hard because as much as you want to be happy you cant. Your mom was wrong, its okay to cry. Crying is way better than cutting. Its okay, college can wait. It is okay to fail, as long as you get back up. The only true failure is when you dont get back up. If you feel like crying but you cant, talk to someone. It always helps. i talk to a close friend and I always cheer up afterwards that happens to me all the time, i hate crying and when i try nothing comes out. If talking isnt an option try listining to music or take a shower.. If you ever need to talk im here just shoot me a message or email. I know you can get out of this. Dont give up!
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