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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
bitesize Offline
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Going back on anti depressants now?? Or am I just giving up too easily?? - August 14th 2010, 01:59 PM

I was on mild anti depressants (Lexapro) last year from November to March, when things were difficult, and they helped me loads. Seriously. After I came off them I stayed feeling happy for a couple of months, and I was naive enough to convince myself that I would feel happy like this for the rest of my life and that my depression was fully gone.

And now it's back and I can't cope. I really can't cope. I don't know what to do. I'm terrified of being by myself because I can't deal with feeling this way.

And the mood swings as well. I'll feel fine one minute and the next minute I'll feel awful ~ I've come close to bursting into tears on the bus for no reason. And the next I'll feel fine, and I'll feel like I was just imagining being depressed, and everything's fine really. I know that about twenty minutes after I've posted this thread I'll completely regret it because I'll feel fine and think I was just moaning and making a big fuss out of nothing and life is grand and overall I'm happy really.

I've been considering gonig to my doctor and asking him to put me back on the medication I was on ~ simply becaue I just can't deal with this I can't deal with this I cant. But I don't know if I should just try and stick it through, I feel so weak for considering taking the easy way out. I don't want to go back to therapy ~ it's too expensive right now, and it's too much effort and I just know it won't really help this time round. Please don't tell me to go.

Plus I often get depressed around November ~ should I wait until some time when I really really need to go abck on the medication?? I just feel like I'm giving up so eaasiuly now, but I feel so horrible I just cant cope like ythis I dont know what to do.

I know part of the reason I'm depressed is because it's summer, I don't have a job and a fair few of my friends are away and I've no structure right now to keep me going. College starts back in a month and I'll hopefully feel better then when I have some regime back in my life and something to do every day. But I don't know if I can keep gonig for another month. I don't mean I'm considering killing myself. I'm never going to do that. But im really scared, i dont nkow how tyo cope with this.

I just don't know what to do and im so sorry if this thread made no sense or was to boring to read but i really just dont know what to do.


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Dedalus Offline
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Re: Going back on anti depressants now?? Or am I just giving up too easily?? - August 14th 2010, 04:38 PM

John Milton once said 'The greatest victories in life are over yourself'.

I was initially going to say what you said in your final paragraph - its summer time, there are hours alone, boredom, a lack of purpose, and so on. You've got nothing to do, no definite thing to look forward to.

From what I read in this topic and your last topic, I just happened to notice your posts, was that you seem to have a dependency on other people to make you happy. I'm no psychologist, but common sense would tell me that is probably the root of why you feel down a lot. Other people are the most unreliable, unpredictable source of comfort. They provide the best highs, but invariably lead to the worst downs.

The fact that you'd feel most alone on your own and with your own thoughts is worrying to me, because I enjoy time by myself. Perhaps your not comfortable or at ease with yourself? Maybe you don't know what to do on your own other than brood and think about everyone else and shit? I don't really know what to suggest here other than you probably need a solitary activity you enjoy.

I was probably going out on a limb there, but in the times I've felt what you feel thats what my problem is. Secondly I'd say you need a coping strategy for when you're down like that - crying on the bus is very upsetting for me to hear - and you've said it yourself:

I'll feel fine one minute and the next minute I'll feel awful ... And the next I'll feel fine

There's a pattern here, and I remember recognising that when my friend died during secondary school, you'll feel ok, then you're in the pits of despair, and then ok again. I remember just tacklng it by saying "It'll be ok again later". I pictured it like a wave and a good moment is followed by a bad moment. Because when you're in a good moment if feels like it'll last forever doesn't it? And then when you're in a bad moment that seems like it'll last forever? Its like you live in the moment...but just relaxing and thinking it'll pass, or this good feeling is temporary helps a bit....

I want to help you, but I really don't want to shite on about someting very personal to you and I don't whats going on in your head or what might have triggered these feelings.

But unless you're feeling suicidal I suggest you don't go back on A-D's. September will come, you'll feel better when you have assignments and friends around and a structure in your day. You have to combat these feelings...and I do think you need to find a purpose or enjoyment other than your friends. I read some article in a newspaper recently that said to overcome these feelings you have to find it within, and thats what made me think of Milton.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Going back on anti depressants now?? Or am I just giving up too easily?? - August 14th 2010, 06:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dedalus View Post
From what I read in this topic and your last topic, I just happened to notice your posts, was that you seem to have a dependency on other people to make you happy. I'm no psychologist, but common sense would tell me that is probably the root of why you feel down a lot. Other people are the most unreliable, unpredictable source of comfort. They provide the best highs, but invariably lead to the worst downs.
I usually feel fine by myself. I'm the kind of person that enjoys my own company and I'll often take time out during the week just to spend time alone. But recently I can't handle it because it just gives me too much time to think and then I get depressed.
But thanks x


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
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Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
   
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Re: Going back on anti depressants now?? Or am I just giving up too easily?? - August 14th 2010, 10:36 PM

So much of what you wrote seriously could have been something I would say if I could ever find the words. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about this, not necessarily ask to be put back on meds but maybe see what his/her opinion is on this. See what options you have, maybe there would be a cheaper way to get therapy (if you think it would help at all) and see if he/she thinks you should wait until you go back to school.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
   
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Re: Going back on anti depressants now?? Or am I just giving up too easily?? - August 15th 2010, 04:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bitesize View Post

I usually feel fine by myself. I'm the kind of person that enjoys my own company and I'll often take time out during the week just to spend time alone. But recently I can't handle it because it just gives me too much time to think and then I get depressed.
But thanks x

I don't really know what to say. I at first didn't want jump in saying something I don't really know anything about...people drone on and on about depression, and I'll admit that I have felt down at times, maybe for a few days even, but not to the lengths you have...and depression is completely subjective. How you feel is how you feel.

I didn't want to write something, but I didn't want to ignore this...but I don't know what to say. I mean what can I write that will lift you up? I did try to say something to help you - and still am - but I don't know, and I don't know what anyone here can do by typing over the internet...

All I know is by the way you've treated me and listened to me you are a kind, considerate, non-judgemental person who is so lovely at heart. Thats a fact. And whenever you're feeling weak or upset or depressed; know that you have me to listen and to care. If you were here Id put my arm around you and say it'll be alright -and it will be alright.
   
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bitesize Offline
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Re: Going back on anti depressants now?? Or am I just giving up too easily?? - August 15th 2010, 05:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dedalus View Post
I don't really know what to say. I at first didn't want jump in saying something I don't really know anything about...people drone on and on about depression, and I'll admit that I have felt down at times, maybe for a few days even, but not to the lengths you have...and depression is completely subjective. How you feel is how you feel.

I didn't want to write something, but I didn't want to ignore this...but I don't know what to say. I mean what can I write that will lift you up? I did try to say something to help you - and still am - but I don't know, and I don't know what anyone here can do by typing over the internet...

All I know is by the way you've treated me and listened to me you are a kind, considerate, non-judgemental person who is so lovely at heart. Thats a fact. And whenever you're feeling weak or upset or depressed; know that you have me to listen and to care. If you were here Id put my arm around you and say it'll be alright -and it will be alright.
Thanks you so much... I know it's hard to know what to say to someone who's feeling low...I've dealt with it for years and I still have trouble finding the words to say to other people coping with depression. I'm feeling vaguely positive right at this moment so I'm kind of telling myself to just hang in there... But your reply meant a lot to me, thankyou so much.x


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
   
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