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mr nerdpuff Offline
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Don't know what to do. - August 18th 2010, 09:32 AM

Hey, my names Nathan;

Where do I start?
My parents broke up about 3-4 years ago now, it turns out my dad was cheating on my mum for ALL 22 years of their marriage, ofcourse I didn't know this at the time, I was young.

I stayed and lived with my dad, supported him, and grew a bitter hate for my mum, purely because thats how I idolised my dad.

My dad then started dating a lady, she was just recently out of hospital, depression, OD'd on a regular basis, and had many physical issues, it wasn't fun, my dad would be at work till, 6pm +, leaving me to deal with a OD'd lady who would sometimes collapse and start havin' fits, I found it extremely hard, but I battled on, as you do.

He finally left her and himself and I got our own place, a nice two bedroom flat, was cosy, but my dad was changing, he'd go away on long trips to meet girls, trips could last a week, maybe a bit longer, I didn't mind the time alone, it was peaceful if anything, but he'd come back, and he'd always seem sarcastic, everything I said he'd laugh at and point fun at, he also slowly grew violent, he smashed my glasses on numerous occassions, but everyone would insist I was in the wrong.

On one of his many trips away my girlfriend, first real love (only real love?) of a year and a half cheated on me, I was devastated, she'd try and rub the fact she was having sex with other lads in my face, it wasn't the sex that hurt me, it's the thought of other guys and what not. I tried to talk to my dad about it, and as per, he brushed it off like no big issue, telling me to man up. I couldn't.

Eventually I hit rock bottom, from lack of support, family & love I guess, it just became too much, I had constant headaches, maybe that was from the stress? I eventually started skipping school, I didn't see a point in it anymore, My teachers were having a go, my dad was having ago, everyone watch bitching, and no one was supporting. I ran away, I ran to my sisters, I stayed there for a week before seeing a message on my dad's facebook 'room for rent' it stated. That was me, being kicked out, informally.

So I stayed at my sister's, I missed my GCSE's and I was now, pretty much, dead to the world.
I stayed at my sister's for the next year, sleeping on her sofa, springs digging in my back, but hey, it's a bed, so who am I to complain.

After about six months or so I met a girl online, she was amazing, I genuinely adored her, well, paranoya started to kick in, I started to look so deep into things, that maybe werent there? Maybe they were? Who knows; anyway, we ended up deleting eachother, too much worry and stress. She messaged me about 3 months later, and we got talking, I asked her why she kept ignoring me and such(the reason we deleted) to which I got the reply; 'I'll be honest, some times I don't reply because I'm talking to other people' That hurt me, so much, a girl I dedicated 6 months of my life to, I had a go at her, I apologised previously for making issues, I apologised for worrying etc, only to find out I was right.. Then her mates started screwing at me, saying how its all my fault.

I got over that hurdle, because thats all it is, eh? & Managed to get myself in College for ICT level 2, with no GCSE's, I was on top of the moon, could finally start to sort my life out, I felt like I had a purpose, turns out, my sister couldn't afford some of the trips to College, be that to buyin luxury items, curries, roast dinners, etc. so I eventually couldn't attend College because my attendance was too low. Rock bottom; number two? Maybe I do over exagerate.

My mum rang me up, un announced one day, and offered me a flat in Germany, yay! A place to stay, a place to call my own, a place to finally get myself back on track, my sister was pushing me to the idea, saying how I'd be a fool to deny it, so I moved, the first couple months were bliss, peace, quiet, I even managed to watch Stanford University Courses and learn a few things! ..Then my mum's boyfriend started drinking, he kicked my mum out, she came to live with me, in a one bed flat, it was cramped, and my mum seems to like being negative.. Well, after about 24 hours they made up, and she moved back in. However, it's a regular occurance now, he disconnects my internet too, just to annoy me, and it does. She can't seem to leave him, and it's stressing me out, havin my personal space invaded, everytime I see her I assume it's because he's kicked her out again, it's extremely stressful. About two weeks ago, when it happened, he kicked my front door in and threatened to kill my mum, I hate this man, but she can't seem to let go..

While in Germany, i met another girl, online, ofcourse, she was lovely, amazing, we Skyped like 24/7, she had the most amazing' giggle I'll ever hear, but then she lied to me, lied about getting a phone call from a guy, questioned my trust with her, I was made to out to be this horrible person who only ever accuses, but I was right? She lied to me? Yet, I apologised. This happened on so many occassions, and yeah, we deleted each other too, well about 2 weeks ago, her parents had a divorce, so I sent her a short little facebook message each day, just saying I'm here if she needs to talk, despite my own issues, low and behold, apparently that 1 a day annoyed her, she told me she never wants to speak to me again, and deleted me, I honestly have no idea why.

Now I'm stuck in Germany, no where to go, about to start a German course I don't want to do, and becoming more depressed by the minute.

Does anyone know of a UK Service that can help me get a place to stay? Help me get my life on track, properly?

Sorry it's so long, it's just nice to be open & get it out.
I apologise if it looks like I'm seeking attention, I promise I am not.
   
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Chriz Offline
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Re: Don't know what to do. - August 18th 2010, 10:18 AM

hey you dont sound like your seeking attention. its okay. i can see where your getting your depression. to be honest i dont really know how to comfort people... but if you need someone to talk to pm me... sorry i cant be more of a help... and hey... there are a lot of girls out there:] so dont be sad for too long:]


You smile not because your happy. But because you know smiling will bring you happiness.
   
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Re: Don't know what to do. - August 18th 2010, 04:06 PM

First of all, I want to say that I think it's very brave of you to post your story here - I know that can be challenging. And no one here would ever think you were seeking attention, we're all here to help, and most of us have our own issues so we understand.
I am sorry you've had so much trouble with your family, I can't imagine how difficult that must be. But I can imagine the trouble you've had with girls, I've had my heart broken twice by guys I loved. I thought I would never meet anyone, then, when I was at my lowest point I met the guy who I will spend the rest of my life with. I'm telling you that because I sincerely believe things happen when they do for a reason.
I don't know about any type of service in the UK.. have you looked online?
I'm sorry I couldn't be more help, but if you ever need someone to vent to - I am always here to listen. PM me anytime. I hope things get better for you.
   
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Re: Don't know what to do. - August 19th 2010, 03:12 PM

Thankyou, both, I wasn't expecting such nice replies.
Not saying this forum is bad, just saying most people ain't as comforting, it's been nice to read the replies, and it genuinely feels like you both care; thankyou!

It's happened again tonight, mums been kicked out, living with me in a one bed flat, it's gonna be a stressful few days, then she'll go back to him, don't think I can take much more, might set off for England on my own, go stay with a friend and sort my own life out, sure it sounds heartless but ehh!

I've not looked into too much atm, I don't really get on much, I'm still looking though, apparently there is a service which can help me, just got to try and find them! (sister used them a while back)

Thanks again fort he nice replies!
   
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katniss Offline
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Re: Don't know what to do. - August 19th 2010, 07:06 PM

No problem Nathan, that's why we're here. Like I said, if things ever get really bad and you need someone to talk to, I am always here. PM me anytime, I don't have all the answers obviously, but I am a really good listener
   
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