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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Darrenboy! Offline
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first time feeling this way. - August 20th 2010, 03:25 AM

Here's the thing.. when i was young.. a social life was basically something i dreamed of. My parents were so overprotective last time that the front yard was all i could see most of the times. That has resulted in me being awkward around a lot of people. and because of that.. i cant have what other guys have..

communication with girls, and freedom and everything was last time.. a dream for me. And now they've learned the lesson. they dont overprotect me any more because they've learnt how bad its effect is on me. But it's too late.. i'm now awkward around people.. and i want my damned childhood back. Because i had nothing.. nothing at all. and because of my awkwardness bastard people (cool people with so much more popularity) are now badmouthing me and influencing others to shun me out. Well i wish they could spend time doing better things than that. but.. rawr.

and btw.. yeah.. i'm thinking of ending it. Maybe in the next life, i might be able to have a better childhood. I think that even death might be better than whatever i'm going through now. i want to die, and i want to end all of this. Maybe its better for me . i'm so jealous of all the other guys who get all the stuff and the childhood that i deserved to have too, last time.

yea and sorry if this sounds like too small a problem.. but it kinda is a problem to me.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

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Last edited by Darrenboy!; August 21st 2010 at 12:51 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: first time feeling this way. - August 21st 2010, 01:43 AM

Hey there,

I can understand what you are going through to an extent. While I wasn't really overprotected as a child I grew awkward around people due to some things in the past. Because of this it is hard for me to talk to people and I am almost always tense in new surroundings or when a lot of people are around. I know that this gets in the way of me making friends and I know that I looked mad or weird because of it but I have come to learn that if people really care about getting to know an individual they will not hold their behavior or past experiences against them.

Last September I started hanging out with a new group of people and it was really hard. I know I didn't talk much and I seemed angry ( I was really tense not angry) but none of those people held this against me. Instead they waited for me to come out of my shell (which ended up happening) and when I did they were there to be my friends. It was the greatest experience.

I am still awkward around people but because I have that group of people who does support me and love me for me that awkwardness has lessened. I think that can happen for you too.

I think the most important thing for you to do is to figure out where you can go to work on your socialization skills. Do you go to school? Do you work? Etc. If you can find an environment then you can start making little goals for yourself. Start slowly by saying hi to someone and then work up to asking that person about their interests etc. From there you might start to noticed your feelings of awkwardness fading and you might start making friends.

Another thing to consider is getting into therapy. I know that a therapist could help you work on your communication skills. My therapist and I work on that on occasion. Recently we discussed things that I could say when/if a person asks me about the scars on my upper arm. If you were to go into a therapists office and explain your worries and concerns they could help you get through this.

Lastly, I don't think this seems like a small problem. In my opinion friends are a core support group and if a person doesn't have that things can be really tough. I am glad you asked for help. I hope it helps.

Please do not kill yourself because of this there is still hope for you, okay?

If you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: first time feeling this way. - August 22nd 2010, 08:38 PM

hey look, i realize you're going through a difficult time, and the truth is - you can't have childhood back. that won't change whether you're alive or dead, but what will change is your future. death leaves you with nothing, and maybe now you feeling like you have nothing as well, but that's false. you have us here, you have music, you have ice cream, and you have family. you can't control the past, but you can undoubtedly control your future. the first step would be to live in the now, and to focus on the little things in life that make you happy . the best way to learn how to be more social is by practice. yes, you will occasionally fail, but what doesn't defeat you only makes you stronger. you can pull through - we believe in you, dude


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Re: first time feeling this way. - August 22nd 2010, 10:24 PM

Darren...You can't commit...
You are a wonderful, caring and friendly person!
And every problem is big and we're all here to help solve them
All of us at some point in our lives, want to go back to when we were litte, to try and change things for the better. But, the truth is, we can't. I know You've been through some tough stuff, especially with all of the shit that has come your way, but you deserve so much better than those people!
Like you said to me earlier, those people don't deserve our time of day!
You need to let it roll off of your back dear and carry on living your life.
Cause if you give up, they're gonna win. Do you want them to win? I certainly don't.

You have helped me through some stuff and I am so greatful for that. You need to stick around though, okay? For me?
I care about you. You can't die.
Keep Strong and never ever give up.

You can always talk to me about it... even if we're on a totally different subject...
Believe in yourself Darren, and things will get better. I promise.

'If you're going through hell, Keep going.' - Winston Churchill




   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Darrenboy! Offline
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Re: first time feeling this way. - August 23rd 2010, 03:38 AM

you people are definitely right. i'll try to be stronger from now. and thanks everyone. i'm feeling kinda better already.. i myself hope things will turn out better from now on! just realized if i dont give myself chances.. i'm being unfair to me too.

thanks everyone.. your replies kinda made me realize about lots of things..

and btw.. not to worry.. i guess i'll stick around.


Those who have went through more pain than everyone else, and want to protect anyone and everyone they know and care for from that pain, are stronger than everyone.

we come, we help, we stick and never leave. pm me anytimeee!

Official member of the completely Unofficial free hugs Club !

I'm firing mah Hugs!

Last edited by Darrenboy!; August 23rd 2010 at 03:46 AM.
   
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