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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Batman. Offline
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Name: Julz
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I can't do it... - August 20th 2010, 03:50 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So... when I say "it", I'm referring to the fact that I can't do this. What I'm doing. I'm unemployed, living at home, pretty much like a child, and I'm 22 1/2.

Jason says he's going to save and move up here and we're going to get a place, and well, I really hope thats true.

But I cannot, CANNOT be still living here by my 23rd birthday. I really can't. And well, I labelled this Triggering based on the fact that, if things don't pan out how I hope, I'll do anything to not live here by the time I'm 23. And talking me out of it will prove to be useless.

At this point, I feel like there is nothing for me, except the idea of Jason saving to come up here. I can't find work, I couldn't manage a job at a greenhouse, I feel like I'm going to be constantly dependent, but I want to get out of that.

If I can move out, into the city, with Jason, I'll have someone I can depend on to help me become at least semi-independent. Yeah, long story about how he'd help, but just trust in me when I say he would. He wants to help me out of this.

And honestly, I'm not looking for things like "It'll get better" or whatever else I've heard a bazillion times. I was looking to spill it out, primarily.

Though, if anyone understands how I feel about this, feel free to give me ideas of how you cope, what keeps you going, steps you've taken to rectify the situation, etc. Not sure how much it'll help, since I've tried everything I can think of. But, some insight can't hurt.


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Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
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Re: I can't do it... - August 21st 2010, 01:25 AM

Hey Julz,
Although i do not have much to say, because i have never been in this situation...i want to tell you that things won't always be this hard. Life will get easier and better. Everyone has low points in their life. When i was younger my dad had no choice but to bring my mom, me and my siblings to live at my grandma's house. He felt like a failure at times, because he couldn't provide for us and put a roof over our heads, but the economy was so bad and he couldn't find a job. I do want to tell you that i hope things get better for you and I'm always here for you if you need someone to listen, or just to vent to.

Take care. <3




   
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Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: I can't do it... - August 21st 2010, 01:43 AM

Angelina, I really appreciate it. Though, my situation isn't due to the economy, I do feel a bit better knowing that you're hoping the best for me and that you're willing to chat.

Sorry if that seems a bit stale, I just don't really know what to say, to be honest.


Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
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