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zeekool Offline
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Name: Zach
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Clonazepam - August 24th 2010, 05:48 PM

I don't take it regularly, but I have Clonazepam (Klonopin) just in case I really need it. Last night I came too close to death, and so I took just like .5 mg to calm me down. It helped, but now today I found myself starting to get close again and I immediately took 1mg. This was literally a minute ago.
I don't want to become addicted, but I don't want to flip a shit and die either. I can't tell my psychiatrist (who is also my therapist) or my parents, because in about 3 weeks we're going to Israel for my brother's bar-mitzvah, and I cannot fuck that up. I'm pretty sure if they realized how close I am to death I could go to the hospital again, and that'd ruin their Israel trip. Also, I just seriously do not want to go back there.
I don't want to make a mistake that might not be able to be undone, aka death, and so I have no idea what to do about anything...


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Re: Clonazepam - August 25th 2010, 05:57 AM

Zach,

I am going to assume that when you mean "close to death" in this context it means that your anxiety is spinning really far out of control since that is what benzodiazepines tend to manage. If it is not, feel free to clarify and I will offer further advice. I too have an "as-needed" benzodiazepine, Oxazepam. Unless you take it every day for a long period of time or you combine it with other medications (which is generally not recommended) then you should be fine on the addiction front. At the very least you can feel safe taking your medication until you next see your psychiatrist.

Depending on what is triggering your anxiety you may be able to manage it on a personal level (at least somewhat). The best method I have found is to recognize anxious thoughts and to squelch them by noticing that they are anxious thoughts and telling yourself that they are unreasonable. If you can do this early enough, before panic sets in, it is much more effective.

Also, I would reconsider talking to your psychiatrist. You mentioned that you are worried about your condition causing troubles with your family's trip to Israel. I do not know any details about your psychiatrist or your pre-existing conditions. Speaking with them about this as soon as possible will help them to better treat you.

By having the forethought and control to recognize the problem and to bring it up to your psychiatrist willingly you are showing a degree of control. They should not instantly sound the alarm and throw you into a psych ward.
   
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