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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Disclosure. Offline
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Unhappy I'm seriously considering ending it - August 26th 2010, 10:32 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

As the title suggests, I'm seriously considering ending my life. I just don't know what to do anymore...I really don't. People say I'm strong and this and that but I'm not. I'm nothing...at all. I'm useless at everything that I love. Even my teachers say that. For example, today I was talking to my Music teacher because I have my Practical Major Exams in about 2 weeks and she was saying that there's no point in me doing composition because there's more people who've been composing a lot longer and are more experienced then I am. My teacher said that whenever she sits next to me, watching me work, that she goes over the same bars and chords with me and all she thinks is that I'm not practising like a lot of students in the class. And music is literally my whole life...one of the things that keeps me sane and happy. And now I'm being told that I'm no good at it when it's not even 2 weeks till my Practical Major Exam for Music. I'm so tired of everything.


   
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Re: I'm seriously considering ending it - August 26th 2010, 11:06 AM

i know that its hard feeling useless, and when someone says something to confirm you feelings of worthlessness, it makes it all seem worth.
You say music is your passion, put on some really loud music and sing along at the top of your voice. That always helps me.
And, if your teacher keeps saying these things, then you have to get up, and prove her wrong.
People say you're strong, so on some level you must be, maybe you're there for them when they need it. And that, Rianna12, is a wonderful thing to do.
If you need to talk, chuck me a message or something.
Thoughts and prayers with you.
x


I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
Mother Teresa

"If you don't understand how a woman could both love her sister dearly and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child."
Linda Sunshine

"He who sings scares away his woes."
Cervantes

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Re: I'm seriously considering ending it - August 26th 2010, 02:31 PM

First off, that teacher should be relieved of their post. That being said, I believe they are wrong.

It's hard to take measure of an individuals ability so early in their life. People improve and they change. Many people do poorly in high school and end up excelling in college. Many people aren't good at what is classically considered to be the "core" of a field but end up innovating because they do things so differently.

I believe that having a passion for something is the only requirement to succeed. Look at the people who were always "talented" growing up in some field or another. Many of them fall out of that field after one failure. If you do not experience failure you cannot reach your full potential.

There's a good quote that pertains to this: "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed." - Michael Jordan

Keep going. I'm sure you'll go far.
   
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Re: I'm seriously considering ending it - August 27th 2010, 04:26 AM

if you really love music, and it makes you happy, no one should be able to take that away from you. no matter what they say, keep playing and remember why youre playing. just because they say you dont play the right way, doesnt mean its wrong. what they want is different from the standards you set for yourself. as long as you think you're amazing, you will be amazing. music is an expression of ones feelings. it can't be criticized or compared.
never stop doing what makes you happy. never. if you end your life, you will never be able to hear the rythmns and beats and sounds that you love, ever again.
i hope everything works out for you and you make the right decisions.
if you ever need to talk, we're all here for you.


-i still believe,
that there is more love than hate, theres more heart than ache,
and we are stuck in this great big world together-
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Re: I'm seriously considering ending it - August 27th 2010, 04:29 AM

Agreed with the above poster.

Music is your thing, so stick with it, no matter what others say.

Some of the most famous musicians have A LOT of people who don't like them. I hated Michael Jackson's music, and I'm definitely not the only one, but he did have a following for sure. He was world famous, despite having so many "haters", you know?

Keep to it, no matter what anyone else says!




Dare to be Different, to be Weird, to be a Freak.
Overall, Dare to be yourself.

Stamp Out Prejudice Hatred and Intolerance Everywhere
The Sophie Lancaster Foundation



   
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Re: I'm seriously considering ending it - August 27th 2010, 05:44 AM

It seems like you are allowing this insignificant music teacher to control your destiny. Now is the time more than ever to live...to prove your worth and show up all of your peers. Just because your classmates have had more practice does not mean they are better than you. In fact, by the time you catch up time-wise to them I am sure you will be better since you are already keeping up in the same class as these experienced musicians. By being weak and giving up, you are letting her win. You should not accept defeat, especially when you know in your heart you are better than that. When you pour your entire soul into your chords and melodies, I am sure that sounds much more pleasing than some expertly crafted four part harmony that uses only the most proper music theory techniques. You have to honestly ignore what this woman says and focus on your exam and your own creative work. Get advice from online, like on forums where people can share their compositions. One person is not valid enough of a reason to quit. In fact, there is no valid reason to quit. If you love it, just do it. If you are committed, there is a guarantee you will do some amazing things. Sorry for rambling, I just sincerely do not want you to do any harm to yourself. You are worth a lot more than that. PM me if you'd like.


"A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person."

   
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