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It All Settles In Now - August 29th 2010, 09:46 PM

A few months ago, I tried to tell my mom that I was feeling suicidal again(I push it back and try not to feel it. I can go months at a time if I try). Her exact words were: "Wow, I didn't think that you were such a coward." The effects of her words are just settling in now. I find it hard to believe that that was her first thought. We haven't spoken about it, and I'm scared to bring it up again. But I need help. Should I even try and ask her again?

"I have no doubt that each man kills the thing he loves-to match his own dying" pg. 67/Tree of Knowledge/Author Unknown

You can't kill love, you can only try to extinguish it...and why would you want to be the cause of the death of something so pure?
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Re: It All Settles In Now - August 29th 2010, 10:01 PM

Hey there,

I am sorry that your mom responded in that way. The sad truth about it though is that there are going to be people out there who view suicidal ideation as cowardice. Now, I think the fact that you spoke up about your feelings makes you brave so try not to take your moms words to heart.

Now, is there anyone else you can talk to about these feelings? Your father? Another relative? Or another trusted adult? Seeing as your mom responded in that way maybe you should try to rally some others behind you for support and then go to your mom again? If you have support from another adult maybe your mom will be more willing to listen and if she is not at least you will have some support from that other adult figure.

As scary as it might be to reach out to people, especially given your moms response, please do so. You deserve to get help for this. You are not a coward and the fact that you are trying to find ways to fight your suicidal feelings proves that.

If you need anything feel free to pm me.


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Re: It All Settles In Now - August 30th 2010, 12:38 AM

i don't know your mom, and i don't know how she usually talks to you.
but couldn't it be possible that in the back of her mind, she was maybe trying to convince you to get out of feeling this way? maybe she thought that by calling you a coward it would change your mind a little bit. however if she was just being insensitive, someone else may be better to talk to. even someone from TH.
people view suicide differently and react differently. you should talk to someone who will listen to you, support you and give you the response you deserve.
PM anytime, i hope this helped

-i still believe,
that there is more love than hate, theres more heart than ache,
and we are stuck in this great big world together-
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