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hopeless - August 30th 2010, 08:43 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i'm never going to be rid of this. i haven't sh in over a month, but i just bought a knife. i thought i had recovered from anorexia, but now i never eat. i don't want to live like this anymore. i don't think anything will help me. i feel almost like i'd be better off dead.

i'm just really sad, scared, hopeless, and confused. i don't know what to do.

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Re: hopeless - August 30th 2010, 11:08 PM

Hey there Laura,

I am sorry you are struggling so much but I promise that suicide is not the answer. I know when we are really struggling death can seem like the best option out there but times can get better. The bad times are really coming at you right now but with time you will experience some good things and they will make living worth it.

What has caused you to go out and buy a knife? And what about the trigger behind the ED relapse? If you can figure out the reasons behind these things you might be able to work on them and slowly get to a better place.

One suggestion I am going to make is that you reach out to people in your life; friends, family and other trusted people in your life. I know it will be a hard thing to do but in the end it could really help you to have a support network. Also, I would suggest that you look into therapy as well. I know talking to a complete stranger can be hard but in the end it can be really beneficial to have a caring, objective and understanding person to go through.

Laura please stay strong because I believe you can make it through this. If you need anything feel free to pm me.


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Re: hopeless - August 31st 2010, 01:39 AM

i would love to, but i just moved to college a week ago, so i don't really have a support system set up yet.

lately i've just been really depressed, scared, lonely, shy, and full of self-hatred. the way i deal with overwhelming emotions is self harm, so i bought the knife today. i didn't even go looking for it; i was buying a notebook and they had them at the register. i haven't used it yet tho

ed, i'm not really sure.

i just wish i had someone here, or at least an animal. i just dont' know what to do with myself. i hate feeling this way, and at times suicide seems like an answer. but deep down i think i know its not
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Re: hopeless - August 31st 2010, 03:57 AM

It's good that you're reaching out. And it's good that you realize that although part of you thinks it is, suicide isn't an answer. I agree that when you can you should establish a support network. For now though, you're welcome to use TeenHelp

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Re: hopeless - August 31st 2010, 04:51 AM

Hey, :]
I just want you to know, that you're not better off dead.
Everyone deserves to live. :]

good job on not self-harming for a month.

Seriously, great job. Keep it up.

If you ever need anything or just need to chat, just PM me

heart means everything.

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Re: hopeless - September 1st 2010, 07:54 AM


First of all I'd like to say, You're not better off dead. You deserve a good life and Great Job on not Self-harming for a month!!!

If you find things are becoming a problem again, maybe you could seek some help? It sounds like you could do with some help at the moment, as you seem very down.

If you need to talk PM or VM me

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Re: hopeless - September 1st 2010, 09:10 AM

first, do yourself a favor, and get rid of the knife. just wrap it up in a paper towel, and throw it out the window of your car. please. If you think your going to start SH again, you cant be giving your self such deadly tools to do it at free will.

I dont even know you, and I know your not better off dead, you could be someone that relates to me, loves the same type of music. someone I could enjoy talking to. so your not better off dead. and your not better off living in the mindset that you are.

Once you can tell yourself that you want to live again, I promise you, as long as you honestly believe it. youll start to feel better.

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Re: hopeless - September 3rd 2010, 04:27 AM

thank you guys. you're replies really helped. i did end up relapsing with self harm tho

but i talked to a therapist today at my college, and she set me up for an interview for a group therapy thing! maybe this support system will happen
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