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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unhappy please help.. - September 2nd 2010, 10:51 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

since a couple years ago when my parents started fighting i started getting anxiety and depression. they divorced last year, and im getting worse and worse. im fat, ugly, and i feel like there is no reason to live. my mom and sibs hate me, my dad doesnt care about me, and my only friends are online. im regularly suicidal, though i know i wont actually do it. im bullied by everyone including my family. i told my dad i was depressed and he said i was lying. i get upset and harm myself. i get a thumbtack and scrape myself just enough to where i an blame it on the cats scratching me. please, somebody help me, i feel like there is no reason to live any more. thank you

-Sarah.

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Re: please help.. - September 2nd 2010, 05:04 PM

Sarah,

I am sorry that you are feeling this low but I assure you there are reasons to live. I think sometimes our reasons for living get clouded by all the bad that is happening in life. Those reason end up falling just beyond our grasps; they are there but we cannot reach onto them and feel them. However, I have found a number of ways to get through that.

I will look at the reasons to live link on teenhelp. It has a lot of good ideas and it eventually sparks some ideas within myself. There are times that I just pull out that list because reasons of my own do not come. The list reminds me that there really is a lot to live for even if I cannot see it at the moment.

Here is that link:

http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t272-reasons-live/

Another thing I do is make my own list of reasons to live. My list started out with one thing and from there is really has grown. Whenever I am struggling I pull out that list and look at it. I remind myself of all the reasons I have to keep fighting.

As for your family; I am sorry that they are treating you that way but maybe it is a misunderstanding? Maybe they do not realize how badly you really are struggling? Maybe you should try talking to them again? If not is there anyone else you can lean on for support? A teacher? Another family member? Another trusted adult? Sometimes depression is made worse when we feel alone so if you could reach out to people maybe it would help you feel less alone?

Also, maybe you could look into getting in with your school counselor or something? I know that there were a number of people who used my high school psychologist as a resource to get help and it helped them immensely maybe it would do the same for you?

As for being bullied; you are at the age where that is frequent. I too was bullied and it was horrible. I hated it and felt rotten. I didn't understand what was so wrong with me that people felt the need to tease me. Over the years I was able to learn that there was NOTHIN wrong with me and instead it was peoples ignorance, I promise it is the same with you.

You know, bullying gets better in college. I have been going to college for some time now and have yet to witness bullying. People seem so much more open to people. I know college is a long way away for you but I want to remind you that things will not always be this bad. You can make it through all this and one day you will be able to look back and say "I survived that and I am glad because my life is really good right now".

Hang in there and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: please help.. - September 2nd 2010, 05:13 PM

*hugs* I know how hard it can be, and people bullying you makes it even worse, but dear, you have to hold on to hope. You see you have, at least, online friends, that means you are able to make friends. If you accept yourself the way you are (you made so negative comments about you) you'll be more confident, and people will be able to see the person you really are, and they'll be more likely to accept you.
I'm in such a similar situation with my parents, they've been separated (now they ar together and fighting all the time) and the ignore me 24/7, but thing is, if they hate you, it's because they notice about you, I know this doesn't sound so good, but I'd rather think they notice than they don't and anyways I'm pretty sure they love you, even if they don't show their feelings for you. At least you were able to tell your dad how you was feeling, and I don't think lying about your scars is a good idea. You do it because you aren't ok and they have to know. I know it's hard to tell, but once you do you probably be getting the help you need. Or perhaps asking for a medical diagnose about depession would make our family open their eyes.
Don't be sad, life is hard, but you're still standing, you're strong enough to keep going and not everyone is able to say that. It's admirable how a person can overcome hard situations, and I'm pretty sure you can. Never give up dear, I'm here for everything you need.
All the best xx


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Re: please help.. - September 3rd 2010, 01:08 AM

there isnt really anyone i can talk to, and im homeschooled so school counselor isnt an option. thank you for the link btw. and i wrote a letter to my dad about it because its hard to talk to him, and he just blames it on my mom leaving. my brother makes it worse too. he regularly says im a fat ugly loser with no friends and nobody will ever love me, and thats why i have never even kissed anyone =/
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