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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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My Boyfriend's Mum - September 4th 2010, 08:50 PM

Hey, it's been a while since I've posted here, mainly because I haven't had much advice before but I'm giving it another go, so here goes.

Basically, a few days ago, my boyfriends mum attempted suicide and is now in hospital. My boyfriend doesnt seem to be too badly affected by it, and has chosen to distance himself which I completely understand.

Anyway he asked me today if I would go to see her with him on Monday and I said I would, however, I'm just wondering how to go about it. I don't want to be asking the usual questions like "how are you doing" etc as she's probably sick of hearing that by now.

I was just wondering for those of you that can relate to this situation what can I do? I was thinking maybe take some books/magazines for her to read rather than the usual flowers and a card. What do you think?

Any suggestions are welcome. Thank you.


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Re: My Boyfriend's Mum - September 4th 2010, 09:54 PM

Hey there,

That sounds like a tough situation to be in. I am glad that you are going to be there to support your boyfriend through all of this, I am sure he appreciates it. I think giving his mom some books and magazines would be a great idea. Also, what about a journal? I know that after I tried to hurt myself I got a journal and took up writing. Journaling is one of my favorite things to do now and it really does help me relieve stress.

I think, in the end, his mom will appreciate whatever you give her because it will help her to see that she is important and all of that.

I hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: My Boyfriend's Mum - September 4th 2010, 10:31 PM

Hey, maybe lighten things up? Like, talk about the awful hospital food or something? I don't know, if I were in her place, I probably wouldn't want to have people treating me like I'm some child, who needs to be held, figuratively speaking.

When you talk about more light-hearted topics, she may feel more normalized. Like, when my grandfather was in the hospital, dying from cancer, I didn't know what to say, but he enjoyed the company, and he was asking us how we had been, how school was going, etc. Though I understand you probably couldn't talk about the same topics as I mentioned. But try to bring a brighter note, if you can.


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Re: My Boyfriend's Mum - September 5th 2010, 01:41 AM

Just showing support will be great.
Lightening things up might also me a good idea, as you said yourself she has probably heard all the "how are you?"s she can handle.
Just let her know that you guys are there for her, and that you don't think badly of her or judge her.
Good luck


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