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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Rikki.Raine Offline
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Name: Rikki
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"You just have to work through it." Fuck that. - September 6th 2010, 05:34 AM

I'm sick of trying to work through it. I'm sick of fucking everything up. I'm always the one apologizing, cause I'm the fuck up. No one fucking understands. They've been through the same thing but have forgotten the pain. They'll never feel it again because it's never the same thing. Ever. When you think you've finally felt the last of it, you're so fucking wrong. So fucking wrong. When you think you've finally gotten strong enough to deal with it, something else knocks you sideways. I'm fucking done. DONE.
Done trying.
Done trying.
Done trying.
Done fucking trying.
I hate everything. I hate you. I hate myself. So fucking much.
No one can fucking help me.
So what's the point of this?
I don't fucking know. I don't fucking care what you call it; call it a cry for attention. And maybe that's what this fucking is. "Look at me, look at me, I'm feeling psychotic and suicidal again, yippee!"
Fuck you.
Nobody is as fucking there for you as they say they are. I'm so done. With everything.
Prove me wrong.
Prove me fucking wrong.
And don't fucking give me that god shit.
Fuck you.


Solum in somniis.

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Re: "You just have to work through it." Fuck that. - September 6th 2010, 05:24 PM

Rikki,

I am sorry you are going through all of this but I am glad that you have come onto teenhelp. I hope that we can provide you with the support you are needing at this time.

I know that your situation is different than my own but I can relate to what you said. I know that there are times when it seems as if instead of things improving they are made worse. It is like I think I have overcome all the obstacles and something pops up that sends me for a spin. However, I try not to give up because I believe with all my heart that things will improve. I don't know when they will improve but I don't stop believing. I think the reason for that is because I have seen what it is like to overcome some of the obstacles that have been thrown my way. I look at where my life was three years ago and I realize that I have come a far way. I am still not completely okay but compared to where I was there has been an improvement.

The same goes for you. We hit really really hard times but when we make it through those times we grow a bit stronger and take a few steps forward. Yes, bad times are going to come again but they cannot take away the steps we have taken to improve.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? I know you might not want to but it can really help to have people rally around you for support. I know that when I am struggling I try, in some way, to reach out to my friends and a select few family members. While they cannot make my struggles go away it does help to have their support.

I hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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