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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 07:18 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Im so close right now. I want to be dead right now so bad. I want everyhing to go away. I want to stop caring. I want to go to sleep and not wake up. I cant even have that luxery since i cant sleep because im too busy crying myself to sleep. I feel horrible. My friend who is the only one keeping me alive right now is going through something. I was telling her two nights ago about how i was suicidal she said shed be there for me. She had to leave abruptly for no reason. She wouldnt tell me why and she said shed tell me today. I waited until tonight and she got on. She told me that she couldnt talk because she was drunk. She is 16 and she would never never ever ever drink. She said she would never do it ever. She just isnt that kind of person. I begged her to tell me whats wrong and she wouldnt. She left and said shell tell me tomorow. I feel so horrible i feel like throwing up. i feel sooooo horrible i want to know what is wron so bad. It makes me want to kill myself not knowing whats wrong. Im so scared and worried for her. I cried so much for her. She lives 1000 miles from me and i cant go and confort her in person. Im so worried. I cant handle this. It could have been anyone, just not her. Im so scared. i dont wan to go on living. Im on my ipod touch since i cant be seen like this. Ill try to go to bed now and when i wake up if there isnt any reasons on here why i shouldnt do it i think i will. Im so worried for her it feels so bad. I cant take it!!!
   
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Re: I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 11:03 AM


You are NOT a bad person. I know that for a fact because you care so much about your friend.

I am really sorry about what's going off. It can't be easy whatsoever. And because you both live so far away, it makes it that much harder.

But it's going to be okay you know? Suicide isn't the answer. Your friend is just going through a tough time and I know you want to be there for her and know whats wrong, but she is probly just trying to figure things out.
Do you think she's in danger of hurting herself at all?
Is there anyone you can call like her parents or a close friend of hers??
They might be able to tell you if she's okay or not.

In the meantime dear, get some rest. It's not going to do you any good worrying. And she'll feel bad if she knew how this is effecting you.

She will tell you whats wrong when she is ready I am sure

Just keep strong
Keep going,
And keep believing
PM me if you need anyone to talk to... I might be able to help

Charli




   
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Re: I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 06:04 PM

Her parents hurt her... So they might be the problem... I want to know whats wrong...
   
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Re: I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 06:14 PM

Man, you are going threw a hard time. Suicide can't help you. It's good that you are letting your feelings out on this sight. People here can help. Get some rest but don't worry too much about your friend. Keep asking her what's wrong and if she doesn't answer keep asking. Your not a bad person. I will prey for you.
   
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Re: I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 06:15 PM

Man, you are going threw a hard time. Suicide can't help you. It's good that you are letting your feelings out on this sight. People here can help. Get some rest but don't worry too much about your friend. Keep asking her what's wrong and if she doesn't answer keep asking. Your not a bad person. I will prey for you.
   
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Re: I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 06:19 PM

ahh.. I see.. has she been online recently at all?
she's obviously finding it really hard to cope with things :/
I think the next time she comes online, just reassure her that you'll always be there for her let her know how much you care...




   
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Re: I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 06:38 PM

She made her status on facebook yesterday that there is no point and i commenting saying there is. She then commenting on it 4 hours ago that there isn't. I was sleeping i just woke up recently. I wasn't awake for her. I shouldn't have slept.
   
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Re: I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 07:01 PM

honey, you need to look after yourself ...
I know you care about her and that you are worried out of your mind, but you should put yourself first.

I promise things will get better... just keep strong okay?




   
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Re: I'm Closer Than Ever Before :( - September 6th 2010, 07:40 PM

I'll try but worrying about her is a large part of the problem......
   
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