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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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FriendZoneMayor Offline
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Unhappy they're back... - September 10th 2010, 01:05 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

The thoughts are back in my head... and I'm having trouble finding the motivation to get them out... I just don't see a point anymore...
When my parents went to Michigan on vacation in Aug, I took their pistol and held it to my temple... but I couldn't bring myself to pull the trigger...

I'm basically terrified to die, but I have no reason to live


“I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978


Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; September 10th 2010 at 03:15 PM.
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Re: they're back... - September 10th 2010, 01:18 AM

Hey there. I'm sorry things are so bad for you right now.
I read a quote once, and I don't remember who said it, or what the exact words were, but this was the gist of it: If someone is willing to go to the extreme of suicide, they should be willing to do anything just as extreme to change things. I think about that all the time, when I'm at my lowest, I think of crazy things I can do to get out of my situation. My big one is that I would like to stow away on a boat to Africa and live in the rainforest, by myself, forever. Of course, I probably won't do that. But there are other things in your everyday life that you can do... and it's different for everyone, so maybe this isn't making any sense at all. For me, when I like to do is make someone else feel better when I am feeling really shitty. Like today for instance, it was a BAD day, even for me. But I saw this woman coming out of the restaurant I was going into, and I told her that I really liked her skirt, and she smiled like I just made her whole day. It made me feel just a little bit better to think I brightened someone else's day.
But anyway. It goes back to that quote. You feel that bad that suicide seems like an option - that's extreme. So go to another extreme to try and make things better... whatever that would be for you.

I hope this made at least a little sense to you. Oh, and by the way, when I read "in a parking lot marked with yardlines" I had to smile... I miss it. haha.

I really hope things get better for you, if you want to talk (or try to understand what all my rambling has been about) feel free to PM me, I'm a really good listener

Stay strong sweetie.
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Re: they're back... - September 10th 2010, 01:44 AM


im so sorry your feeling like this dear, i really am.
you are such a wonderful person and you have everything to live for. You cant say you have no reason to live because you have your whole life to live and every fantastic experience to have.
You should make a list of all the things you want to do, it can be anything as big as visit your favorite country to go see the latest movie.
Focusing on activities you can occupy your head with to make these thought a little less harsh.
You can get through this, you just need to thing is positivly as you can and stay strong.
I would also try and see a doctor to get you some extra support when you feel really bad.
There are professionals out there to help you, hang in there
If you ever need to talk PM me, anytime [: x

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within"
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Re: they're back... - September 10th 2010, 11:46 AM

Of course you have a reason to live. You may not have found it yet and it might not seem like it right now, but you do. And if you give up you're not giving things a chance to get better. Please, please just hang in there and keep going. It might seem hard but it'll be so worth it, and things always, always get better and it's going to get easier, you just have to let it.
Take care xxx

Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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