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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Alto. Offline
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Unhappy Someone please just kill me. - September 10th 2010, 10:53 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm not strong enough to deal with this every day. I used to feel better when I just went into chat, or got around family, or friends, but I don't anymore. I have suicidal thoughts everyday, and I'm not strong enough to not take action on them. I'm too scared to talk to a teacher or my parents, and if I tell my friends they'll leave me. I've tried calling a hotline before, as it started ringing I got terrified and hung up. When I write it all down, I always end up reading it in a few days, then I just feel even worse.
I almost slit my throat last night. Almost. Then one of my friends called me. We talked for about an hour and a half, and I couldn't mention the failed attempt because he really needed to vent to someone. And I'm the only nocturnal person he knows.
I really want to overdose right now. I could do it too. No one is in the kitchen. I could go in, get a handful of pills, and take them. No one would find out until tomorrow. Nobody could stop me right now. If no one could stop me, why do I feel so crowded right now? My brother and his friend are in the living room watching a movie, my other brother is in his room. My sisters aren't home, my parents are out right now.
How many pills would be too many? I'm scared right now, I want to get out of this so much, but I don't know what will happen once I'm gone. I've heard that there is a vain on your wrist that if you cut, you'll bleed to death. Is that true? I could do that, and when I'm found it will look like I just started cutting again and it was an accident.
I don't want to try anymore. Just someone, anyone, kill me, please?


wanderer come home
you're not too far
lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
come as you are.

VM | PM

Last edited by Alto.; September 11th 2010 at 04:25 AM.
   
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Re: Someone please just kill me. - September 11th 2010, 03:20 AM

Please stay strong!! You are an amazing person. I don't really have any other advice because i have the same feelings some times, but you can get through it! I know you can. Don't give up!!


Peace...Love.....Swim & Polo!!!
   
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Re: Someone please just kill me. - September 11th 2010, 05:51 AM

Call 911 or admit urself to a hospital where you will be kept safe
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Re: Someone please just kill me. - September 12th 2010, 02:45 PM

Well, why are you feeling so suicidal? Did something bad happen?

You're terrified because the suicide is taking over your life. You're too afraid to get help, and only possibilities of ending your life are swimming in your mind.

If you are unable to think of all the reasons WHY you want to live, then why not create your own reason? Is there something you absolutely love and can see yourself dedicating your life to it?

Like me, I used to want to go to college because it would make mommy happy. Now I want to go because with the right education, I cans tart conservation areas and save some animals.

If you need someone to talk to, I'm right here! You're not gone yet. The phone rang before your neck was slit, and you still have thoughts of getting help. I think you're very brave, and just need to take baby steps.

Good luck .


My friends are my strength! So please! Be my friend? I'll be the best I can be!
   
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