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africanmammal Offline
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Unhappy Depressed.... - September 11th 2010, 12:22 AM

I am definitely not suicidal but I have been depressed since I started Middle School. In 6th grade, I had a crush on a boy who was thinner than me, so I became anorexic. My mom found out and she has never trusted me again. Ever since then, my mom has treated me like dirt. She always yells at me for things I didn't do and for my "attitude." I know that she loves my older brother more than she loves me. I've been feeling very depressed lately. I've drifted through a few groups of kids since I started middle school. I don't have any close friends and I don't trust anyone enough to talk to them about my problems because the people at my school are jerks and they wouldn't understand. I think I'm depressed because I don't know who I am and I don't have the support of my family or friends. Please help!
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Silver Halide Offline
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Re: Depressed.... - September 11th 2010, 06:06 AM

It's understandable that you are under a lot of stress. I can especially understand the near competition with an older sibling. When I was growing up I was constantly compared to my sister academically. She was the shining example.

This did not, however, indicate that my mother loved my sister more than I. This is likely the case here. Few parents can genuinely love one child "more" than the other, even though it can seem that way. They may seem to play favorites or do things that could indicate that but those are generally subconscious things.

Your mother may be acting hard on you as a defense mechanism. She may feel that what she is doing is in your best interest since she found out about your anorexia issue earlier. My guess is by "treating you like dirt" she is treating you suspiciously constantly and questioning you a lot. Over time she should simmer down and return to baseline.

As far as your potential depression. If you feel you may be depressed reaching out to someone in your community could be helpful. Usually an adult. Meeting someone in person can generally be more effective as they can read your body language and help give you a supporting presence.

That said, not knowing who you are is not generally considered an indication of depression. It is however a prevalent symptom in two groups of people: teenagers and college students. This is alright. You have the time in your life now to figure out who you are or who you want to be (as the latter is more important; who you are can change based on who you want to be). It's a wonderful opportunity and I hope you get the chance to fully enjoy it.

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