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xCoralinex94 Offline
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i cant do this..... - September 12th 2010, 09:37 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

... i dont think i can do this much longer.. ive been depressed and wanting to die on and off for two years now... i just cant keep going on feeling this way.. like if im feeling like this so much and keep thinkn bout it then i might as well go thro with it... everythings been going wrong lately too... and then the other day me and my mom were fightn and i told her i couldnt do this anymore, im gonna kill myself... and so she totally flips out screaming and yelln at me and saying how dare i say that to upset her.. like i was doing that just to get her mad.. i was just sayn it cuz i couldnt hold it in and its true... so she screams some more and grounds me for a few weeks... like that rlly makes me feel so much better.. i just cant do this... i cant... i dont wanna live... but i dont wanna be depressed... i just wanna be happy... i just want this to go away but i wont, no matter how much i try to be happy it doesnt go away...... i think maybe killing myself is the only way.....the best way..... i.. i think im actually gonna go thro with it tonite...i just cant keep living this way....

380 days SH free
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MidnytexRayne Offline
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Re: i cant do this..... - September 12th 2010, 11:51 PM

First of all.. Don't. you have a lot of people here, on this site, that are willing to help you get through this., Including myself. Even tho you don't know me and i don't know you, you can still talk to anyone of us if you have problems and I'm sure SOMEONE can help you talk about anything. I've gotten into plenty of fights with my father about stupid things and every single time I've threatened to kill HIM. he's definitely put me through a lot so i have a lot of extra baggage that not everyone knows about. Fighting with your parents is a normal thing, everyone goes through it whether they want to admit it or not... Its just life.

I've told this to another person on this site.. So I'll say it to you. You're only 15. You have your whole life ahead of you.. Sure you may be depressed now but things will change as you grow and mature.. if you can, talk to someone about things, either a friend a family member or a therapist.. that might help. Or start a journal and do NOT re-read the things you have written in there because that could trigger something in your mind that might cause it to start getting depressed all over again. You can get through this. I promise you that.

You can always send me a message if you need someone to talk to, I'm more than willing to listen and help you no matter what... =)
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