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Alto. Offline
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Unhappy Why is it so hard to ask for help? - September 17th 2010, 11:50 PM

Why is it so hard for me to just ask for help? Thinking to a year from now, I'm going to be in high school. I want to feel good there. I've dealt with all this shit since preschool or kindergarten. So all through elementary school, and all through middle school. It's all been hell and torment. I don't want high school to be like that. I really don't.
I want help is the thing. But I'm terrified to ask for it. Even here it takes me a day or two sometimes to decide to post a thread or not. While in chat, I really debate with myself to put the HELP! sign up. With live help... I've only been able to do it once I was so scared. And I'm just not really a fan of helplink(I have done it before).
Why is it so hard for me to do this? I really am terrified to even post this, but I will hit submit new thread before I have time to really think about it.
Why am I so scared?


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Re: Why is it so hard to ask for help? - September 18th 2010, 02:09 AM

You are scared because you're afraid that others will judge you. ..

Hun, we aren't here to judge you, Some of us have been through the exact same things as you have. I know asking for the help isnt easy but i seriously believe that if you do it, It will maybe change your life. I mean.. for me, I've had depression all my life and asking for help wasn't easy til i turned about 25 or 26 years old. [I'm almost 28 now]. Asking for help has helped me alot. Now, it hasnt helped me in the area of the adoption but as for the depression, i don't really feel as depressed as i was before. Granted the whole one on one therapy thing isnt working for me but having others around in my depression group makes it easier for me. We all differ.. that's for sure.

Maybe the group thing isn't for you and you'll do better one on one.. but let me say this. If you ask for help and get a therapist, don't be afraid to hold back.. just pour your heart out.. letting it all out will make it feel like a release.. a huge weight on your shoulders being lifted.. don't be scared. If you are then maybe you should start an online journal with LiveJournal or something.



   
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Re: Why is it so hard to ask for help? - September 28th 2010, 12:31 AM

im scared too sweetheart. For the first time and only time i told a teacher some of what is going on. It was the hardest thing in the world i wnated to run and everything in me was screaming leave! but i made myself stay and talk to him i didnt want to leave i wanted to talk i told one teacher. in all thats 5 people who know. I feel scared to post on here too. I find it hard to talk to anyone about anything. IM a freshsmen in high school i understand how scary it is.
   
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Re: Why is it so hard to ask for help? - September 28th 2010, 01:07 AM

Hey Eclipse,

Im sorry you've been struggling I know thats always really hard to deal with.

I just wanted to share with you something somebody told me last year. I have the same problem as you. I never want to ask for help with anything, school, personal problems it doesnt matter I dont want to ask. It makes me feel like im being over dramatic or im stupid, that theres something really wrong with me because I need some help. But the thing is thats not true at all for me or for you.

I was trying to talk to one of my adult friends awhile back about some struggles I was dealing with. I sat there forever and finally told her that im scared to ask for help. She told me to never be afriad to ask for help because I deserve to get it. I deserve to be happy and to have a good life. To do big things in my life. And me going through life not asking for help just holding it all inside is preventing me from doing that. The same goes for you.

People care about you, people will want to help you. You've just got to say something first. I know its hard and I know its scary but you can do it. If you cant get yourself to say it write it out. If you cant get yourself to give somebody that note give it to a friend and have them give it to who you're wanting to talk to. Somebodys done that for me before and it was a lot easier that way.

Also explain to that person that you're scared. Theres nothing wrong with being scared it shows that whatever it is thats bothering you is really affecting you. They'll understand that you're scared. I can assure you that they have been scared to. You're not the only one thats ever been scared and you most diffently wont be the last one.

I've got on chat before looking for help and I just couldnt bring myself to put up the help sign. I really wish I could have done it but it was just to hard for me. So you're not alone there. If you're struggling and you see that LiveHelp is online click on it without even thinking about it. The people that help out on there are going to be able to relate to how you're feeling. They will understand that you're scared to ask for help. You can tell them anything you like anything that you're comfortable with.

Hang in there Eclipse! You can PM me anytime


   
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