Triggering (Suicide): why try?

[fakeasmilex3]

depression for almost 3 years, along with anxiety , low self esteem and self confidence, and borderline personality "traits". im a perfectionist and people pleaser also.

just got discharged from the hospital, for the fourth time within under a year, on tuesday.

sucidial thoughts, ideations, and selfharming urges are making me go crazy [crazier].

[Aberrant]

Do you know what triggers you?

I know sometimes it's like all your feeling are the feelings, but can you think of understanding any of the underlying thoughts?

You said you've just been discharged from hospital, are you in an out-patient program? Do you have a counsellor or anything?

Aside from that, I guess just try and find some way to relax and escape your thoughts thats not that self destructive, like just zone out in front of a movie or something. Try and find some short-term relief of some sort somehow?

good luck

[Thirteen]

Jenna, you should keep trying because YOU'RE WORTH IT!

If the treatments you get now aren't working, you should continue working with your doctors/therapists/psychologists/whoever else until you find something that DOES work.

Remember, recovery IS possible!

[fakeasmilex3]

blah. it doesnt seem possible. im in my second iop program. and it doesnt help. i just wanna give up now..

[Thirteen]

May not seem so now, but it definitely is.

My boyfriend has successfully recovered from Severe Depression, and he had to go through trying to find the right medications, taking them, weening off of them, the withdrawls, the hardships of missing doses, etc., and I had to go through with him. When he didn't have his meds, he'd be trying to break up with me, saying things like "I don't deserve you", "You'd be better off without me in your life", "I want you to hate me", etc., that was his Depression talking. That was the shape he was in when he was around your age.

Now, he's just turned 20, he's completely off his anti-depressants, has been for a few months now, he's happy, he's living a normal life, and he works on helping me through my (MANY) issues.

So don't give up, because though it may be a hard, strenuous path to go down, the reward in the end will be worth the turmoil you endure now.