Triggering (Suicide): What's it like

[Geb12596]

I'm a cutter and latley I've been doing it a lot more. But something has changed. My depression is no longer self pitty. I'm now so ashamed in the world and the human race that I can't stand it. I just want to die and take every single person on this earth with me. And the fact that I'm being forced to read books about world war 2 and the holocaust doesn't help. Have you ever just sat there and thought about all the horrible things that the human race has done not only to eachother but to everything around us? about all the people being raped, abused and murdered at this very moment and then just felt a wave of sorrow and shame wash over you? Thats how I feel. Im no longer ashamed of just myself but of everyone and everything. I truly want to die.
But here's my question. I feel like it might be good for me to go away for a little while to get some help. And all I need to do is ask. But I'm scared. Whats it like in a mental hospital. All i've been told is that they are horrible and don't help, but I think thats my family's way of trying to get me to stay sane. If I do go to the hospital whats it like? Are they going to hurt me? I'm only 15 I don't want to get hurt or abused or anything. btw i have ocd so im a very anxious person.
Thanks in advance

[♥ Choir. ♥]

Hey Grace,

I've never been in a mental hospital myself(though I belong in one), but know that they only want to help. You're doing the right thing by wanting help, and even the thought of going to extreme measures to get that help, that is extremely brave of you. My guess is that at first, it will be scary. Any new situation that someone could be put in, even voluntarily , can still be very scary. But it will get better, and they want you to be happy.

Hope this helped a bit,

Eclipse

[MidnytexRayne]

3 days, Psych ward in Fort Walton Beach .. reason being - Cutting myself after getting in a huge argument with my ex..

I got pissed at the doctor woman because she wouldn't let me go home after one night [i was told i was only going to stay one night but ended up staying three instead].. The day consisted of this - Get up around 7 something AM, eat breakfast.. then around 8 something, you go to a group therapy type of thing for like.. 15 to 30 minutes.. Around 12 or so you eat lunch, Which wasn't that bad actually because you get to order anything you want and you actually get it! lol.. You go to some sort of art center or group exercise.. there was a lot of group activities. I know during the exercise one we got to go outside for a little while, some played bball, some walked around and some just sat and enjoyed the sun or read. You can choose to go to your room the whole time but they encourage you to join in on everything the group does.

They have two parts to the place.. One being where you have to stay in your room.. and the other was where you can go where you want there, eat what you want, watch tv, draw.. i liked that one mUCH better. Lol. I pretty much cried the first night and day because i wanted to go home and see him.. but i couldn't and that bothered me.

All in all it was a pretty interesting experience. I know i wouldn't go back ever again but you think you need to is up to you. to be honest, i recommend it because even tho it may seem stupid and scary at first, you can really learn a lot from it. (That's where i got the whole idea of the journaling.. because she brought it up) we did a lot of fun things in that group.. Had to fill in the blanks to something like "whenever i look at myself in the mirror i see..." or "the best thing to happen to me was".. for me, it was very very very therapeutic and interesting.

It might actually help.. -shrugs-

[Life17]

I've been 2 a mental hospital 3x n I think da longest ii stayed was 2 weeks n I can honestly say it's not bad @ all n a day we will wake up @ 7 eat bf @ 8 school 4m 10-11:30 lunch @ 12 after lunch we will have group den back 2 school 4m 1:30-3 den we will go outside dinner was @ 5 n phone calls @ 6 bed time @ 10 n during da whole day you can't go n ur room but each experience der was helpful... Ur doing da rite thing