Hurt..

[Lily.]

I'm not very good with people. I try to avoid conflict and avoid getting close to people. However, when I do, my friends tend to mean a lot to me. I'd do anything to help them and I'd never walk away. A friend of mine recently said goodbye to me. I don't hate her for it, I believe we all do what we need to and if I wasn't helping her or if I was making her life worse than by all means she should walk away. It's hard though, it's hard to deal with. Mainly because I don't know what to do, I mean, I don't know what I did wrong. It's a bit harder because my brother was recently diagnosed with Colon Cancer. I don't know how he's dealing, he's like me, he doesn't talk about it. We're closer though, than I am with my other half-siblings. One of them already died, so you could see my concern. It just hurts to be in this position and to have to try to hide it from my sister who is evidently coming home from college today to visit. So in the midst of all this pain, I guess what I'm really asking is; how do you deal? When everything in your life seems so blatantly wrong...

I'm new at this, bear with me.

Lily.

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Lily,

I am sorry you are dealing with all of this. I hope with time things improve. Sometimes life can be so darn complicated and painful but there are good times too and those make the hard times worth fighting through.

When I am really struggling I try to take a step back from the situation and remind myself of the things I do have that are making life okay.

1) My family
2) My friends
3) My future

Maybe you could try the same thing as well? Just remind yourself of the things that make you smile and all of that. It could really help.

As for your friend; I am sorry about the situation but I am sure you will meet more people. Friendships grow and change and sometimes that leads to separation but that doesn't mean you have done anything wrong. I think, if it would work, you should try asking your friend what went wrong. I am not telling you to pester her but it sounds like you are looking for some closure and maybe getting a reason behind this action will give you that. And, whatever she has to say you definitely should respect it but don't let this one friendship make you think there are never going to be others out there.

As for your brother; do you have anyone YOU can talk to about it? This must be really hard to be going through and you shouldn't have to fight it alone. I know it can be hard to reach out but it might be wise. Maybe you could sit down and talk to your sister about some of the things going on? Sometimes opening up can really help take the weight off your shoulders and help you to not feel so alone and hopeless.

I hope this helped and best of luck.

Jenna