Triggering (Suicide): This may be the end for me.

[Rise]

Hey guys. I know most of you will see my staff positions and go "what in the world" is he like this. But my depression and my suicidal thoughts have came to me. (I lasted 5 months with out a trigger)

For once, this girl I REALLY REALLY loved, we'll we started talking again (after a emotional painful breakup). I really thought she was serious this time about changing things. I didnt know she was toying with my mind. But after trying so hard, she hurt me/dumped me

My friends are all leaving me, I stutter (It's not really getting better) and my depression is hard to cover anymore so and , so my friends stop inviting me to places.

My grandpa just died, and I was very, very close to him. I loved him so much

My parents are also very unpredictable, it's soo hard to catch them in the right mood, and when theyre angry (which is majority) talking to them makes them even angry more.

My grades also have suffered from the above reasons. (I'm in danger of failing 4 of my classes) Thus I believed my college hopes are gone. I tried so hard in my fresh/soph year and mantained a 3.8 gpa. And then junior year is when my depression started and such it went down to 3.33. But now it's going down again. There only 3 more days to improve my grades but lets face it, raising 4 f's and d's in 3 days is as possible as meeting george washington. it's truly not possible

I promised my parents and friends the first time i got suicidal that I wouldn't kill my self, but thats very hard for me right now. I just want all my pain to go away.

I really think going to a psych hospital is the best bet for me to hang in there, but nothing will changed the fact that my goals are down the tubes. My grades can't go up and there goes my college goals..

Sighn..

[Thirteen]

Hey Rylan,

I was kind of aware that you were worried about a relapse. Anyways, well, if you feel a hospital would be your best bet, you know better than we do what would help.

Just, please, don't do anything to take you away from us here at TeenHelp.

[Kira-Kira]

well i know its hard to lose someone i know how u feel my grandpa died and my best friend and its hard but u dont know how storng u r until all u have it to be strong and u have to do wat ever it takes to stay alive because ur family wil miss u i know how u feel im going almost though the same thing and i want to die to but u got to stay strong and hang on to hope thats all u have to do is hope one day it will get better and if the hospitol is ur best opition take it maybe talk to ur friends and family and at least try to get ur grades up even if u dont grad in time u will graduate and stilll can get into college
good luck

[~CourageousSurvivor~]

Hey there,

From the sounds of it it seems as if things are piling up on you. I am sorry that that is happening but I believe that you can make it through. If you feel that the hospital is best for you then go for it. Remember you know yourself best.

As for everything going on remember to take it one step at a time. All the things that are bombarding you will calm down with time. You just have to hang in there until then and I believe that you can and will do just that.

As for your dreams of college; they do not have to be ruined because of this. Go and talk to your teachers and see what they have to say and go from there. If there is no way to get your grades up then look into some community colleges or something. I know that might not be what you want to do and believe me I know how much it will suck. However, you can go to a community college for a while, get all these issues under control and then transfer to another college of your choice. Your dreams for college do not have to be ruined. Try to think positively in regards to that, okay? There is a solution to every problem it is just hard to see sometimes.

I really hope things start to improve soon for you and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna