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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Exclamation He keeps making me talk - November 9th 2010, 09:49 PM

I have this friend, well at least he used to be my closest friend, but we've grown apart. Anyways yesterday was a pretty bad day. My math teacher took me out into the hall and started questioning me about why I wasn't turning in my work, and the depression was why, but I didn't want to tell him that. Then everyone kept telling me my ex bf was cheating on me while me and him were going out, I asked him, but he denies it, so I don't know who to believe. Then my Ipod died, and my ipod is my life. So anyways, I posted on my facebook status "well.....today sucked" and he saw it and started texting me. He kept saying "You can tell me anything, I understand" and he wouldn't take no for an answer. So he got me talking about it, but the whole time I started feeling worse and worse. I fear he might start that today too....... He doesn't understand. He's making me want to rush into suicide.....


If I smiled and said I'm fine, would you look in to my eyes, and say "Tell the truth"?

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; November 9th 2010 at 11:28 PM. Reason: Removing triggering prefix to fit guidelines
   
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Re: He keeps making me talk - November 9th 2010, 11:27 PM

Marisa,

It sounds like you are really struggling at the moment but I want you to know that you can pull through this. I know life can be hard but with time it will turn around. Don't give up because you have a lot of good things coming your way.

Now, I think it would be a good idea to talk to your teachers about what is going on. I know that would be scary to do but it seems like your one teacher is concerned about you and if you let him in he can help you. I also think it would be wise to talk to your parents about what is going on. I know that will be hard but they can help you get the help that you deserve. You shouldn't have to go through this alone. You know, depression feeds off of secrets because the more we keep things a secret the more isolated we become and the stronger our depression gets. Don't let yourself stay isolated, open up and let people in.

As for your friend, while I think talking to people is really important you shouldn't be pressured into doing it. I am sure your friend is only trying to help but I suggest you sit down and talk to him about how it makes you feel. Let him know you are grateful for the support but you are not ready to talk right now. However, do you know why talking to him makes you feel worse? I know that I have trouble talking to certain friends because I don't want to burden them with my problems. I slowly began working on that issue and telling myself ''they wouldn't ask how I am if they didn't want to know'' if you feel as if you are burdening your friend try reminding yourself that he wouldn't ask if he didn't care.

I really think reaching out is important. If you don't feel comfortable reaching out to your friend I really suggest you find someone else to reach out to. Please don't go at this alone. You do not deserve nor have to be alone.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to use teenhelps many resources.

Jenna


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Re: He keeps making me talk - November 9th 2010, 11:34 PM

I have a huge trouble with reaching out to people, because most of the time they push aside my problems and go on about their problms. I don't really have a problem with listening to their problems, and I like to help them, but I feel like I'm no significant help to them. It also bugs me because before I try to talk to them about it I specifically tell them "Can I tell you something?" or "I need to talk to you." They usually say ok, and listen for about 5 minutes, then interupt and start talking about themselves. I listen, then try to bring up the other subject again, but it just happens all over again. So I've stopped reaching out.


If I smiled and said I'm fine, would you look in to my eyes, and say "Tell the truth"?
   
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Re: He keeps making me talk - November 10th 2010, 06:08 AM

I used to be in a similar position where life honestly was at its suckiest of moments-the one person I could talk to about things wasn't there for me, parents were fighting a lot, and I was having even more issues. There will be those times. Fight it, no matter what! Things do get much better, it is your mindset and actions that make the difference--you need to find a good outlook on life.
In terms of your ex, this all depends on you...it is difficult to figure out too. I used to be somewhat like that, except I wouldn't talk to people. If he is pushing you too far with trying to get you to talk, tell him. It is good to be blunt about it if he is pushing your limits.
At the same time...why is he pushing you towards suicide? I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but you did say people tend to brush what you have to say off and he is doing the opposite. I would think that this would help more than push things too far.
Anyways, if anything just tell him most of what you posted.
PM if you would like


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Re: He keeps making me talk - November 10th 2010, 10:02 PM

Well he would start doing what everyone else would do, change the subject. With that plus everyone else doing that, I'm not willing to open up anymore. He's pushing me towoards suicide because he's pushing for an answer, but then pushing it aside, and it makes me feel like my propblems don't matter....


If I smiled and said I'm fine, would you look in to my eyes, and say "Tell the truth"?
   
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Re: He keeps making me talk - November 11th 2010, 12:41 AM

ah ok. well the next time he asks and forces you to talk, tell him what you just said--about how you feel like he wants you to talk but then he changes the subject etc. Then it is your choice to talk to him about things or not. One way that I started realizing things for myself was after I talked to people. I found it easier to connect with those online, but I needed the personal connection to someone. I am going to sidetrack and tell you a short version about who I was.

I grew up with physical and emotional abuse at a very young age. I experienced a lot of death in my life where the number of deaths passed the age I was/am. This combination led to my depression which led to me starting to cut. There were times that I felt like crap and I seriously considered suicide where I would put myself at the tip of suicide and risk a lot of things. I lacked care in my life so I leached onto care where I found it. A few years ago, I was in a relationship that I was in just to make the other person happy. I wasn't happy with myself. Once the break up happened, I started talking to my friends because I needed the help. I felt so low that I did have those suicidal moments. Once I opened up to the guy that I am dating now, I felt like I could talk to him about anything. After I talked to him, he told me that if I ever felt depressed or down to let him know and he'd come over. I haven't cut since January/February and the last time that I was depressed was then too.

So I know what it is like to feel like you want to keep it all in or how you feel like your words don't matter. Find someone that you can openly rant to online that will listen no matter what and rant to them. Start there. But, do try to find someone that you can open up to in real life. I don't mean right away either, but once you do, set aside time where you can talk to them alone about things. Ask them not to sidetrack but that you really do need their help and support.

This is something you should do in time, so don't rush it, do this when you feel comfortable with it. In the mean time, talk to people in other forms-through TH/online etc. Rant it out, journal it, give yourself outlets to let it all out.
Sorry if my answer isn't a direct answer, but realize that this is your life and sometimes you need to be selfish and tell someone to listen up because you need the help. Things will get better, you just need to start the process


Leave the past behind, just walk away
When it's over, and the heart break
And the cracks begin to show

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Hold Onto Hope
   
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Re: He keeps making me talk - November 11th 2010, 02:20 AM

Thanks that actually helped a lot


If I smiled and said I'm fine, would you look in to my eyes, and say "Tell the truth"?
   
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