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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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i_am_me_again Offline
I'm A Pyschotic Neurotic.
I can't get enough
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Question If I'm not depressed, how can I be suicidal... - February 22nd 2009, 03:00 PM

I dont really understand. Im not depressed, but I dream death & am addicted to death.

I wonder what it would be like, who would miss me, what the newspapers would say, & so many more questions.

I just want to commit suicide...Iv started hoarding pills again, but I dont understand....


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Re: If I'm not depressed, how can I be suicidal... - February 22nd 2009, 03:36 PM

... To me it sounds like you've just been caught in a more regrettable social niche. But anyways...

It's natural for people to contemplate suicide for the purpose of pondering how the world will continue without them. That being said, it's a pointless endeavor because life isn't about what people will do without you, it's about what people achieve from your influence and presence! Furthermore, life is your journey and it is your goal as much as everyone else's to accomplish something- to leave your mark.

Suicide is not a mark, at least not in your situation. There is no heroism or symbolism attached to someone committing suicide for their own interest. The idea of killing oneself to see how others react is cruel, and stupid considering you will have no idea how they react because you are dead. Sorry to burst your bubble but that's it; dead.

Ditch the pills, and find a passion in life that can help achieve something.
You live in blooming England! You should cherish your luck and further an already extravagant nation.
   
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i_am_me_again Offline
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Re: If I'm not depressed, how can I be suicidal... - February 22nd 2009, 05:25 PM

Your right, thanks for setting my mind straight, at least for a little while


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Re: If I'm not depressed, how can I be suicidal... - February 22nd 2009, 08:47 PM

I've started doing that again too. Maybe you just need something else to distract you. A hobby. A purpose. Some obsession more interesting than suicide. The one point in my life when I stopped thinking about suicide was when I had lots of other stuff to think about.

What are your other interests?
   
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Re: If I'm not depressed, how can I be suicidal... - February 22nd 2009, 08:49 PM

I dont really have a hobbie, I sit on the net a lot, or listen to music.


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Re: If I'm not depressed, how can I be suicidal... - February 22nd 2009, 08:58 PM

Well, the standard advice would be "try something new, you only live once"
But you're already on the computer...do you like computer games? I know a bunch you can get obsessed with... ^_^
   
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i_am_me_again Offline
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Re: If I'm not depressed, how can I be suicidal... - February 22nd 2009, 09:17 PM

OH Gawd, I love computer games, thats a good hobbie

Take my mind off death.


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Re: If I'm not depressed, how can I be suicidal... - February 22nd 2009, 09:26 PM

NetHack => http://www.nethack.org

You will die so much in NetHack you will never want to die again xD It's the hardest game you'll ever play unless you play other roguelikes, so it'll be a while before you're good enough to beat it. Which makes beating it seem meaningful and purposeful. I was obsessed with this game for a year. Gave me the purpose to put off attempting suicide for about that long.

If ridiculously hard text-based roguelikes aren't your cup of tea, there's Kingdom of Loathing => http://www.kingdomofloathing.com
Which is hard to get obsessed with though because you can only play a certain number of adventures per day. And there's always classic time-suckers like World of Warcraft and Guild Wars, but you have to pay for those. I hear Runescape is free.

Or you could do something like get really good at chess, or read all the manga in your bookstore, or learn to cook...

(then again if I can't shake these thoughts myself why am I giving you advice...it probably all sucks anyway)
   
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