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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
tmarie422 Offline
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Suicide is my only option - November 11th 2010, 01:41 PM

Fourteen years old and everything feels wrong. Everything feels out of place and no matter what I do, I can't do it right. I attempted suicide about three weeks ago. I failed. I feel so dissapointed in myself now. I wanted to die so badly and now I have to live with the fact of that I was so close to closure, so close to the end, and I failed. The dissapointment is so overwhelming. I need help, I know I do. I've come to the end of my world and I'm learning to accept it, but no one else seems to want to. Hospitals and hotlines make it worse and I lie about my feelings to my family and friends because I know it would break their hearts to find out I was cutting and attempting suicide again. I don't know what's so wrong with my life that I feel so down. I just do and I can't control it. Stupid girls and boys always comment. I just can't take it anymore. I'm so tired of crying myself to sleep every night. I'm so tired of being criticized by myself and beating myself up over every little thing. Everyone I've ever talked to about this says I can get through it, I really can't. I know I can't and that I'm going to die suffering. And everyone I talk to about this says I'm being so selfish to even think about taking my life. I don't care what others think of my feelings. I can't go on much longer living like this.

I need help. I need acceptance. I need friends. I need support.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Suicide is my only option - November 11th 2010, 02:18 PM

Heyy there
I'm here for you so are all the other users on TH. I think the best thing you can do is use the live help operator. And Just the fact that your friends think your selfish for even thinking to take your own life isn't only true but it shows they really do care about you...PM me at anytime and dont do anything stupid.Hope I've been a help
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Mellifluous Offline
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Re: Suicide is my only option - November 11th 2010, 02:21 PM

Help is what this site is here for. Acceptance is what a lot of the members are here for. Support is what this forum is for. Friends is what I'm here for.

Suicide is NOT, by any means, your only option. Remember what has made you hold on for so long. You said it would break your family and friends' hearts to know that you were cutting and attempting suicide? That there is reason enough. Someone CARES. Have you thought about counseling? Or chatting on the "Support and Advise" chat room?

Stay strong.

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Follow me, I'm pretty awesome

Gimme sympathy,
after all of this is gone.
Who would you rather be?
Beatles or the Rolling Stones?
You're gonna make mistakes.
You're young.
Come on, baby.
Play me somethin'
like 'Here Comes the Sun'

  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Suicide is my only option - November 12th 2010, 08:46 AM

Hey hugs. I know what it is like to feel like that...the thoughts get to you and you think that suicide is what you now 'live' to look forward to. That is not what life is to me anymore. It shouldn't be like that for you.
Realize that you are only 14. You have so much to live for. I was terribly depressed around the age of 16 and I am almost 20. I haven't been depressed and I haven't cut in over 9 months. I felt useless when I was 16, but I have come to realize that I am not. I am not just a waste of air, a waste of space, of money, I am not just a burden, I am not any of the things I thought I was. Once I started listening to those around me I began to think of myself as pretty, funny, caring, really good with photoshop, and a lot more. Start telling the depressed/inner voice that tells you the negatives to shut up! Stop saying you don't belong here because you do. You came close to suicide but you LIVED, that means that you should be living and not trying to kill yourself.
It takes a lot of effort to shut the depression and the cutting up, but it is worth it. Life is worth living. We are all here for you. If you need help, I personally think you should go and find that help. One thing that I think (I know that this is my opinion so don't just skip this) is that if you are depressed, cutting again, and thinking about suicide, you should tell someone. You should get the help you need. If it is 'selfish' to take your life, be selfish to get the help. Again, think about this-would it be more heartbreaking for your parents (or others) to find you after a suicide attempt, or would it be more heartbreaking if you told them that you need help again? Personally, I feel that it would be less of a heartbreak to have you go to your parents.
I know that not everyone prefers to tell and to talk, but please consider it. You truly are young, even I am young, but in the past few years, I have learned that life is more than wanting to end.
So please, take the time to think. If you are one to talk, consider telling your parents or someone that you need the help again. If you aren't definitely stick around on TH and at least let people talk to you. In the mean time, try not to cut. When you get the urge to cut or when you start to feel depressed, do something like go out for a run/jog/walk, take pictures, blast your music like you don't care, scream, call a friend, talk to someone about anything, etc.
I would love to help and talk to you more, it is easier having help from someone who has been through something similar. So, if you feel comfortable and want to talk, PM me.

Leave the past behind, just walk away
When it's over, and the heart break
And the cracks begin to show

*~*~This little girl was alone in the world~*~*
Hold Onto Hope
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Suicide is my only option - November 12th 2010, 11:31 AM

Sucide is not your only option. I'm sorry you think that at your age. Life has been tough for you, but I think it's better people help you than you keep this inside. I mean, the pain of finding out you tried/still do/want to hurt yourself is..shorter compared to the time it'll take to heal the idea that you've killed yourself..It's like playing with fire, to be honest. Except you can be completely numb to the idea of hurting anyone. I really think it best to understand that you're going to struggle. But suicide is the most tempting thing when you're hurting. Even when we have everyone we'll ever need in front us sometimes. Or we could if we reached out. I just want you to know that you'rre not alone?I've been there. Am there. . Trying to get out of there.Be strong <3 You are strong. You have everything you need to keep going. I am here if you'd like to PM me.


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Suicide is my only option - November 12th 2010, 01:01 PM

Please don't. The fact that you failed means there's still something here for you. There's a yoga saying "No situation is permanent, no feeling is final." Don't do something permanent because of a temporary feeling or situation. Try live help. Please.

Hello, world

"And if you take my hand, my son, all will be well when the day is done."
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Suicide is my only option - November 12th 2010, 02:02 PM

I just wanted to point out, that for most people...they WANT to know when you are hurting. Say if my best friend were suicidal (or any friend, for that matter). It would be painful to hear that from them, but I would be glad that they told me....because I want to help them, and I can't do that without knowing what they are going through. Tell your friends and parents what's up. They just want to help, and I'm sure that even though it might be a little painful for them, they will be glad that you let them know. There is NO SHAME and NOTHING to be embarassed about regarding asking for help. Nothing.

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last updated on 11/11/17
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