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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
unreasoned Offline
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Exclamation I just don't know... - November 16th 2010, 12:13 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I feel so alone. Everytime i think, Everytime i try to do something its there. I went to the doctor's awhile ago and she said i could have a split personality. Now this would usually be fine cause its a pretty definate split between personalitys. But i don't know which is me! i want to believe that the sweet, nice caring guy is me, but it seems more like im the agressive, arrogant, hatefull guy instead. I feel like a monster!...everyone turns their back on me and im not sure i can continue. With all this my emotions are playing havok on me. I feel so bad all the time...And im still love my ex, but she's given up on me after 4 years of being there for me. I hate this. I've hurt her so much and i don't even have any control over my actions. The only time i feel happy now is when im somewhere, were there is a chance i'll die!. I want to die so much and yet i can't because my survival instinct will stop me!
I don't want to be here!
I don't deserve to be here!
Im a monster...
   
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Re: I just don't know... - November 16th 2010, 12:38 AM

Rhys,

You're not a monster. In fact, I think you're a beautiful person by acknowledging your problems and wishing to be a better person. If you consciously wish to be a good person, chances are, you're already a good person but your psychological symptoms are getting in the way.

I bet that once you go through therapy (if you choose to), you will turn inside out and everyone will be able to see your good heart.

Don't lose hope.
   
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Re: I just don't know... - November 16th 2010, 12:46 AM

You are DEFINITELY not a monster


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last updated on 11/11/17
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
unreasoned Offline
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Re: I just don't know... - November 17th 2010, 09:45 PM

Why can't anyone else see it?
I am a monster!
Im not strong im weak! im breaking apart and i have no desire to live


"Hate the world enough...
And Eventually the world starts to hate you back"

"I don't care what anyone else thinks.
Your worth fighting for "

"Resistance Is Futile"

"Dying changes nothing for me,
It changes everything for you"

"Life gets alot more confusing when theres a girl involved"
   
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Re: I just don't know... - November 17th 2010, 11:27 PM

Well people who turn thier backs to you dont deserve to know you i bet you are a great person dont let whats happening right now get you down!!!! You need to hang in there and show these people what they are missing out on!!!
   
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