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Unhappy Struggling. - November 16th 2010, 06:04 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I thought that things will get better. That's what everyone says, that it'll get better. But it's not. Everything's going worse for me. And the fact that they lied to me angers me so much because they don't know that it will get better. They only want me to live for them because then THEY won't have to feel this pain I'm feeling. Because that's how selfish my family and friends really are. They don't want to listen to how I'm feeling as long as I'm still around to suffer because they don't know or understand what it's like.
The guy that I like in my class at College is still messing around with my emotions. He knows that I'm like this but still chooses to be an ignorant person with no consideration for anything but for himself. He came on MSN the other day and told me that the reason why he's been hanging around other people is because he wanted time to think. Fair enough. But he could've explained that to me instead of letting me hurt like that. He also told me that he wanted me bad too. He apparently is on "a break" away from his girlfriend so he can do stuff with me; namingly get physical. But his girlfriend answered my messages for him and still writes on his Facebook Wall saying how much she needed to talk to him and how much she loves him. His relationship status is still set to being with her. On MSN, he still has that he "loves" her. He said that we were always friends and that he's going to sit next to me in class. I thought that we were on speaking terms again. But today, I was proved wrong. He did the exact same thing as before. He ignored me and hung around other people in the class instead of me. I texted him after class to ask him if he was going to be on MSN and he said "No". So I've decided to stop talking to him and gradually cut him out of my life because I don't need this crap going on with me. I hate him so much for what he's doing to me. It's affecting everything that I do and I just want to kill myself. I just want someone, anyone to look me in the eye and know that there's something wrong. I hate myself so much. Please help me.



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Re: Struggling. - November 17th 2010, 01:45 AM

Rianna,

I am sorry you are struggling but please hang in there because things will get better. I am sorry that things seem to be getting worse but with time they will improve. Sometimes we have to hit rock bottom before things start to change. It sucks but remember you are strong enough to make it through this.

As for the boy; maybe you should try cutting off contact with him? You do not deserve to be treated that way and if the relationship the two of you share is doing more harm then good it might be time to end it. Yes, that will be a really hard step to take but it might help you too.

I really hope this helped. If you ever need anything please feel free to use teenhelps many resources.

Jenna


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