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missmyra November 17th 2010 05:45 AM

To tell you the truth...
So people that know me see me as the shy, kind of quiet girl who is always smiling. And it is true I like to smile a lot. But lately, I have been getting sick and tired of always faking a smile. I truly wish I can be happy for once. I feel like everyone hates me. I feel like I'm always getting picked on or being made fun of. Just recently my now ex boyfriend Joel broke up with me out of the blue after 6 months and I was trying to make things work after that but yet I messed up again. I've been trying to get him back but it looks like I've lost him forever. :'(
He is being so different now too. He's being so mean like last night he said that I was boring and he called me fake. He used to make me feel so special and he made my life better. He said he loved me now he doesn't no more.:(
Plus I am always broke. Everyone I know of is in college already while I have no money to go. I feel like a failure, like I'm not doing anything with my life.
Plus things at home are terrible. My dad is such a jerk and my mom tends to take it out on me. my family stresses me out.
I hate to say it but sometimes I truly wish that I can just escape to someone far away and be free I just want to leave. And to be real with you, I feel like dying sometimes. I really do.
It's like everything I do I always mess up. I see everyone else they seem so happy...why can't that be me?
I feel like nobody cares or loves me. People are just fake. Every time I believe someone, they always turn out to be fake.
I just don't know what to do... I feel like giving up.
Somebody help me please? :'(

Omen. November 17th 2010 06:14 AM

Re: To tell you the truth...
Hi there Myra,

I'm sorry to hear that what you're going through is causing you a lot of stress. But I can honestly say that I know EXACTLY what you're going through. All those things that you've written, I'm going through at the moment as well.
People see me as a quiet, smiling girl as well but everytime I smile or laugh, it feels like I'm just being fake to myself.
I know it may not seem like it at the moment, but as time will go on, the break-up that you just had experienced won't be as hard to handle. Last year, my boyfriend at the time had broken up with me out of the blue as well. But as things went by, I realised that I learned to control how I was feeling.
Is there a way where you can go to college and be able to pay for the fees once you have a full-time job? Can someone help pay for your tuition? You can always apply for a scholarship as well.
Don't give up. The more you keep fighting the stronger you will become. It may seem like it's hard at the moment, but things will get better at the end. I believe in you.
If you ever need to talk to someone about anything, you can always message me and I'll be happy to listen.

Take care.

FlyingTrue November 17th 2010 07:20 AM

Re: To tell you the truth...
I remember when just a couple years or so, when I was younger, I was the shy isolated guy, and things felt like they were conspiring against me, I wondering if I would ever truly be happy etc because I had no friends and there were so many negative things going on in my life, and I often had moments of deep depression in a very similar fashion to what you are going through now. Even though things may look bleak now things will improve later on somehow, I'm sure. I didn't believe it due to the amount of time that had passed before there was improvement in my life, but things got a lot better for me, I'm betting they will for you too. Just try to think positive and somehow despite how things appear now, they would likely change for the better.

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