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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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anomie Offline
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am I actually depressed? - February 22nd 2009, 11:00 PM

My therapist says I'm getting depressed again. But I don't believe her, so I'm asking advice from strangers on internet forums instead.

My list of problems:
1) I'm lonely
2) I'm bored
3) I don't feel like doing anything except sitting on my bed all day refreshing the same five websites. Getting out of bed will make me happier. But I don't want to. In fact when people off the Internet want to talk to me or do stuff with me I get slightly annoyed.
4) My work isn't getting done. I don't know how much I care anymore, but I probably should. Also I'm supposed to be going to the gym and showering every day and I haven't been.
5) I've stopped thinking about the future except when people specifically remind me of it. I don't have goals anymore, and don't even care about stuff like what I'm going to do next summer. I'm desperately trying to find a purpose in life. And it makes me wonder if I should kill myself (but the answer is probably no, especially since I'm not even unhappy except in a very existential sense).

The weird part is I don't feel particularly down. I still laugh at things when they're funny. I still enjoy movies when they're good. I'm not upset about anything except when I get lonely and start crying and making imaginary friends. It's just a sense of "what am I doing and why don't I want to do anything." I don't think I meet the criteria for depression (for food I follow a strict diet, and my sleep cycle's a bit irregular but I'm certainly getting enough of it). But my therapist says I'm falling into one. So

a) Am I? Part of me thinks "maybe" and part of me says I just need to get my lazy ass out of bed and start working and then I'll feel fine.

b) I'm going back to school next month. Last time I was put on medical leave for trying to kill myself. I'm scared if I go back and I'm depressed I'll make another attempt and that would have terrible consequences. But not going back would be a huge pain in the butt and would probably make me more depressed. Should I stick with the plan?
   
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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 22nd 2009, 11:05 PM

I'm sort of like that. I consider it depression. But being out in public, just chilling, that's what USUALLY lifts be up. Currently I'm just about to go to the gym, after supper, and that'll fix me for the night, hopefully.



"Do or do not, there is no try!" - Joey Kovar
   
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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 23rd 2009, 03:30 AM

yeah I just went to the gym...helped me a lot also
especially since I haven't been in three days
   
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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 23rd 2009, 03:54 AM

I think you should go to the gym more. Or just walk around and think about shit. Sound like a plan?

We can't diagnose you here, though. Just fyi.


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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 23rd 2009, 03:59 AM

ah, i guess this is a silly thread then
have a nice day!

<= n00b
   
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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 23rd 2009, 04:20 AM

Nooo you're not a n00b at all! It's just that we're not medically licensed professionals (yet.. for some of us) and we couldn't possibly dispute or proclaim a medical diagnosis on you. Maybe if you're in a rut with your therapist you should try a new one?

But a diagnosis isn't a bad thing, at all. It's there to help you get the treatment you need. It's good.


I am waylaid by Beauty. Who will walk
Between me and the crying of the frogs?

(My PM box is always open.. if I can't help you, I'll find someone who can)
   
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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 23rd 2009, 01:40 PM

It seems you found fitness as a way out. It's really good, studys have even shown that people to exercise on a regular basis are much less likely to be stressed or depressed then those who don't.

Like I said, if you want, sign up for my site and make a journey and jump start your fitness regimen. I would like to lay you out a routine/diet, if you don't have one, but Teen Help won't allow it. Link is in sig.



"Do or do not, there is no try!" - Joey Kovar
   
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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 23rd 2009, 05:08 PM

You could be depressed. Or you could not. It isn't easy to tell without having a one-on-one conversation. However one thing I think is pretty sure from your description is that you're pretty lost in life, which I can totally sympathise with - I'm just coming out of a few weeks of total non-communication and nihilism. I'd really recommend you go back to school just to get back into a routine - unless people they are particularly evil there If your therapist is nagging you get a new one, definitely. Whether you're depressed or not, I'd play it safe and completely spoil yourself for the next while, get out and do something you enjoy, just in case :-).
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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 23rd 2009, 05:25 PM

Thanks for the advice and the kind words Maybe I'll go see a movie or something. At any rate I'm feeling better today.
   
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Re: am I actually depressed? - February 23rd 2009, 11:28 PM

I'd really suggest going to the gym! Not only is it something to do, the endorphins you get from working out will make you happier, and you'll feel good about yourself. As much as people might annoy you, try and make an effort to hang out with them, just talk about your day or something.

I think you are falling into a lot of patterns of depression but that it could easily be reversed




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