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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lynne Offline
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suicidal thoughts since young age.. - November 26th 2010, 04:34 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

first, not sure if this will be 'triggering' or not.. so i put it as that, just in case.
I've been recently thinking about when i was younger, the way i thought of things, whether i was happy,how others treated me, etc. and when i was in second grade i remember very clearly thinking to myself 'i won't live till high school, i'll kill myself before i get to high school'. cuz even then, i was scared of the future, and high school seemed bad to me. there were alot of other times i would think about killing myself, i would write a letter in my head, thinking of what i would say. i would think of different ways i would kill myself. sometimes when i felt really bad, and i felt i had nothing to look forward to, i would hold my breath trying to 'kill' myself, but i would never follow through..
now i'm a 11th grader, and i still do have suicidal thoughts, and sometimes when things go bad, i hold my breath for a while, just like when i was younger...
also: (add in) when i was in 7th grade, we were reading a story about suiside, and remeber my teacher(who i never really liked much..) saying to us 'why would you kill yourself? its selfish, you hurt so many other people' and up until then, i never thought of others if i did kill myself... i don't remeber exactly what she say, i just remeber her saying that its selfish, and it changed my mind alot of the time when i was thinking of suicide.
thats the background story to my question. is it normal to think thoughts like that when you are young, thinking about not living till highschool, do kids think like that? or is it just me..
i'd really appreciate some feedback, thanks to anyone who read all this.
oh, and don't worry, i'm not going to kill myself, i still think about it, just wanting to give up, but then i say 'giving up is not an option' (i read it on this site somewhere..)
thanks, soo much!


-Lynne


"Flick a swith (*snap!) I want you to give yourself permission and the power to say (*Snap!) F IT! I'm going to be happy! i'm going to enjoy my life! and I'm not going to let anyone or anything ruin my day, and ruin my life!"
-whatthebuck

Last edited by Lynne; November 26th 2010 at 04:41 PM. Reason: thought about something else!
   
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Re: suicidal thoughts since young age.. - November 26th 2010, 10:22 PM

I think it's different from person to person. I, personally, did think like that, but my psychologist thinks it's pretty weird, and my social worker agrees. My parents and brother never thought like that.
Some people do, some people don't I guess.


I'll be okay, is that what you want me to say?
It's just one more mistake, one after another, we're all going to break.

I think the truth is that we're all lost, and some of us will be found.
We're all broken, and some of us will be put together.
It's broken.
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Re: suicidal thoughts since young age.. - November 27th 2010, 04:30 AM

wow I never heard of a young child thinkin of that manner but I've had heard of othets opinion such as " it selfish" and it's very normal to think aboit suicide but it's not normal to act on it
   
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Re: suicidal thoughts since young age.. - November 27th 2010, 11:30 AM

I'm glad to hear you aren't going to harm yourself like that Lynne. Thank you for being so strong.
I also suffered suicidal thoughts at a yound age as well, occaissionly. You are mos certainly not alone.


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Re: suicidal thoughts since young age.. - November 27th 2010, 01:05 PM

I wouldn't say that a young child normally thinks of suicide. But my first attempt was aged 11- albeit a rather superficial try but in my head i meant to die.

I think it depends on your life and your situation. Your not alone but i'm so glad to hear your staying strong.


   
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Re: suicidal thoughts since young age.. - November 27th 2010, 05:18 PM

I had suicidal thoughts when i was younger. I wrote a letter and gave it into the school saying something along the lines of 'I hate myself and i hate my life. I want to kill myself. I can't stand the bullies anymore'
I was in year 4. So i was around 8 years old?
Yeah, i can't remember that but my mom mentioned it to me last year..
I've blocked most of little school out but i can remember trying to kill myself a few times, like holding my breath and lying in the bath with my head under the water.
It's not just you. And i don't know why i felt this way.
x


How come dumb stuff seems so smart while you're doing it?
Good friends get drunk with you. Best friends hold your hair back when you've had a bit too much to drink!
There's no such thing as good girls gone wrong, only bad girls found out.
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that maturity has more to do with what types
of experiences you've had and what you've
learned from them and less to do with how
many birthdays you've celebrated.

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