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Someday64 Offline
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a text I never sent (need some help) - November 28th 2010, 01:46 PM

I wrote this text message last night that I wanted to send to one or two of my friends, but decided against it:

I appreciate the life I have. I love my family and my friends. My parents are great, my sisters are great, my friends are great. I'm actually a really lucky person compared to other people. I'm smart and talented. And I have dreams and goals. I have plans for next year. But for some reason I JUST DON'T KNOW: every second of every day, I just find myself absolutely CONSUMED by these overwhelming feelings of sadness and emptiness and thoughts of the fact that I just literally don't want to live anymore. And I don't know why. And it's killing me. I live a good life, but it's like I'm selfish and it's not enough. And I have a difficult time remembering things or having a simple conversation with somebody. It's hard for me to pay attention to anything. I can't focus or concentrate on ANYTHING. Not just school work but basically EVERYTHING. Because all I think about is how tired and exhausted I am and how I just wanna fall asleep and never wake up.

So basically, I really want some help because this just isn't me, but I don't know how to ask for it. I've been talking about it with my friends but I haven't given them the details about how I've been cutting and how all I think about is when and how I'm gonna off myself because obviously, I don't wanna scare them off. And I don't want them to carry that burden of knowing that they have to take care of me or something. I know I have to talk to someone, and I really want to because I HATE feeling like this, but I don't know how. I'm one of the top 10 students at my school, but grades are dropping like crazy because I can't seem to find the motivation to work. Who knows if I'll even graduate b/c I'm LITERALLY failing English. I could go to my school counselor, but honestly I don't feel like she's gonna be helpful at all. I could go to my sister, but she's probably just gonna tell me I have senioritis and that I need to focus more. I know that I should go to my parents and tell them that I need to go see a therapist or something, but they probably won't take me to one. They might think I'm just overreacting and being melodramatic, and I don't want them to have to worry about money and paying for a therapist anyway.

So yeah. Sorry about the long post. I just need some advice on how to go about this. The things is, I have plans for next year that I think is going to help put me on the right track to being happy again, but I don't know if I'll even make it to next year. I am really just so tired of everything, and I need to get some real help before I do something stupid because I know that I am.
   
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PlainEric Offline
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Re: a text I never sent (need some help) - November 28th 2010, 03:34 PM

Even though you don't feel your counselor won't help, it is their job to be there. And they won't be biased like your family will. If there is a problem, the counselor will help you talk to your parents and together they can help you get the help you need. And trust me, if they know that hurting yourself to an irreversable extend, they won't just blow you off. You can message me if anything. Sometimes it helps to talk to strangers that won't be biased and that don't know you so you don't have to feel like you're burdening them.


Later Person,

Erix

Feel free to PM me for anyreason anytime. Yup!
   
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Re: a text I never sent (need some help) - December 7th 2010, 12:05 PM

ok look i understand someday64 cause its happening to me too.......the worst thing here is my school doesnt have a counselor.... i completely have no one to talk to........i just make tons of fb accounts and actually pretended and lied to myself that i have friends that i can talk to about my problems........im top three of my class and the eldest daughter in my family....ive been cutting my self a lot nowadays cause im sooo lonely and i dont know why......pls pm me cause i need to really talk to someone.....
   
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