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I don't know how to help her - December 1st 2010, 10:20 PM

Not quite sure which forum this is best in. If a mod wants to move this to the right place, please do so.
There's this friend of mine. I've known her for about 4 years but have actually gotten more close to her in the past 2. The weird part is that even though I consider her one of my closest friends were still in a pretty much different circle of friends and I usually don't hang out with her all that much.

I've been noticing lately that she's been acting really depressed lately. I know that she's had a lot of family issues for the majority of her life and because of this she can be very antisocial. I bring that up because when she's in a bad mood, she'll shut people out even more. Usually even when she's quiet she's in an alright mood but now it seems like she's depressed arounf 70-80% of the time. I really realized just how bad it was today when me, her and another friend were talking. Somehow we got to talking about death and she said that she would be fine if she just died now.

I'm really scared for her. And even though I've been depressed in the past, I'm not sure what to do. Especialy because of how she tries to shut out everyone when she's in a bad mood. In short, I don't know how to help her.
Please give your advice.


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Re: I don't know how to help her - December 2nd 2010, 11:19 PM

Robin,

I think the best thing you can do is be honest with this friend and let her know how worried you are about her. Also, let her know that you are willing to support her through this rough time. Sometimes when people are depressed all they need is someone to show them that they care. You can provide your friend with that. Sit her down and let her know you are there for her and that you are willing to listen if she needs anyone to talk to. She might not open up to you but I think it will take her far if you simply offer the support. We do not have the ability to make people feel better but we do have the ability to support them. Support your friend as best you can and the rest is up to her.

I really hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm me.

Jenna


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Re: I don't know how to help her - December 4th 2010, 09:52 AM

I also was one to shut people out, I believed everyone hated me and I was only a burden. It's difficult to break the line of thinking that causes someone to shut people out, but there's nothing wrong with trying.
I know it is very hard being on your side of this, you may end up getting yelled at or insulted - don't take it personally, it's the depression talking, believe me.
And when it all falls apart, be there for her without judgement.

Keep up the being amazing


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