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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy Sorry - December 7th 2010, 10:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I know what you're going to say, "wow she posts a lot in this forum", yeah I get it, but just bear with me.

It's still getting worse. I've been thinking for a while that it was just situational depression, I was WAY off. I got dumped a while ago, and it was by the first guy that I had started falling for, and it was my longest relationship. It CRUSHED me when it happened. At the same time I was losing my best friend. Tough? I know. Now, I think about it every once in a while, but I don't really get sad over those things. I have new friends. I'm over the guy. But I can't seem to rid the empty, alone feeling I have. Everyday it gets worse and worse, I'm being sucked further and further down the darkest hole that I feel I have no hope getting out of. My life doesn't suck, it's actually pretty good. I have a full family, and I'm close to everyone in it. I have plenty of friends that love me. I have a roof over my head and plenty to eat. I'm fairly skinny, and am told that I'm pretty a lot. The only bad part is that I'm behind in math. I don't see any reason to be sad, but I am. I feel horrible that I'm making everyone else suffer with me. I wish I could tell them I'm sorry, but they would say I did nothing wrong, when I feel I did so much. So, even though I know no one that knows me reads this, I'm sorry. I want to end their pain by ending mine. I want to say goodbye to the world.


If I smiled and said I'm fine, would you look in to my eyes, and say "Tell the truth"?
   
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Re: Sorry - December 8th 2010, 01:53 AM

Marisa, when I read this it made me feel like you could understand what I am going through. I myself don't have a great life, at all. But on the rare occasion that things are going good I still feel empty, and alone even with people all around. I get depressed and suicidal for no reason and that even makes it worse because I don't know why it is happening. Don't feel bad for posting a lot because asking for help is better than keeping everything bottled up inside. I can understand when you say that you want to end all of the pain that you have caused everyone else, I feel the same way. I think that people will be better off without me, it would lift a huge burden off of them. Everyone tells me that it would only cause them more pain but I really don't believe that. Anyways I'm done rambling, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. If you ever want to talk feel free to PM me.


"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

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Re: Sorry - December 8th 2010, 04:12 AM

dont worry bout how much u post here asking for help, its better to ask for help than to do nothing at all.. feeling alone alot of times can be the worst feeling u could have. even if everything else is going well, the alone feeling u have can make it all feel almost like nothing, and thats a very difficult feeling to deal with, trust i know how it feels. what u should do really is talk with one of ur friends that u really trust about it and maybe they can be there and support u there. u also have people here who will support and help u. and u shouldnt kill urself, it would cause pain to the ones who care about u and love u. if theres anything u would want to talk about, just pm me and we'll talk. i'm here anytime u need me


You can't go through life thinking you'll never have any regrets but don't let those regrets bring you down. learn from your mistakes and do what you can to make every day matter.
   
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Re: Sorry - December 8th 2010, 04:18 AM

You're definitely not alone, hon. It happens to me too; even on a good day sometimes I'll just get really sad or depressed, maybe I thought about the past but sometimes just for no reason; makes me want to grab a knife or a rope or something just to stop it...i know how it feels, especially to get on the "i'm making everyone suffer."
But I always have to stop and think (or am forced to by a good friend) about how people would be without me. Maybe I'm just average, maybe I don't really influence them, but I know that the pain of losing a friend or family member would be bad enough to make me want to keep holding on (:

Things get better, you just have to find the will to get up when you're down, and if you can't, let others help you.
   
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Re: Sorry - December 8th 2010, 09:46 PM

Thanks guys The truth is, I actually would talk to my friends about this, but all of them have big mouths and can't keep anything to themselves. Thats why I don't really talk to anyone about this stuff


If I smiled and said I'm fine, would you look in to my eyes, and say "Tell the truth"?
   
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Re: Sorry - December 9th 2010, 04:19 AM

yea if they cant keep things to themselves it wouldnt be a good idea to talk to them about it cuz it could just make things worse depending on who all they talk about it to.. but there should at least be someone there u could talk to and if not there r people here who u can to about this stuff


You can't go through life thinking you'll never have any regrets but don't let those regrets bring you down. learn from your mistakes and do what you can to make every day matter.
   
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Re: Sorry - December 12th 2010, 05:58 AM

Please dont do anything to harm your self
   
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