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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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done... - December 9th 2010, 04:27 PM

I don't know how long I'll take it all, now I feel I finally can be in peace for I've forgiven all of those who hurt me during the past. There's no more hate or rage inside me. I realized some wounds will never close and fade, but I won't blame it on anyone -no longer-. I know this is the most selfish and coward choice, but I can't afford a life. If I'm still here it's because of a boy I really want to meet someday and he wants to meet me as well, he has supported me, made me not to do this many times. I don't want to disappoint him, but I feel like once we meet and we get sepparated again, it'll be my time to say goodbye.
Sorry to family and friends for I've hurt you. I tried my best fighting my ED, but it led me nowhere and now I feel even more lost and depressed. Guess I never actually wanted to overcome it (sorry ).
My mind is driving me insane, and I can't help.
It'll be the last time I'll be fine, this is goodbye.


Fear Cuts Deeper Than Knives

"And if you told me 'go to the hell', I'd tell you I know pretty well that place"
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: done... - December 12th 2010, 01:59 PM

Someone once told me, that suicide is more so a result of too much weight on you, rather than a choice. Never feel ashamed of yourself, never. You know who you are, and you know that you have things you need to deal with and change. That alone makes you an outstanding person, because many people chose not to try to deal with things.

Do not feel ashamed of your eating disorder, do not feel ashamed that you have had suicide thoughts or may have seriously thought about it. It's hard to take out an eating disorder, it is possible, but it is no walk in the park. You will have times where you will succeed in defeating it, and times where it may take over. The suicide, I know you have a lot to live for, this is a given. You are only 17 and you have so many more years to find some one.

You will meet a man who you will be crazy over, and he will be crazy about you, and no matter what happens in your relationship, you will always bring it all back together, because it will be a sincere love.

You need to just hang in a little longer, for this boy you will soon meet, for your family, for your friends, however most importantly for yourself. Look up the stories of people on this site, try to find somethings to help ease your mood and emotions, music, activities you enjoy. Learn to love yourself, learn to find content in who you are. Set some goals and take life a step at a time.

I know there is so much to your life, and there is no way I can adress all of it, but I know for a fact you have a chance, a big one at that, to turn your life around and start putting a smile on your face daily, a sincere one.

If you ever need anyone to talk to, ever, just send me a message, or find my email address on my account and email. As of now, count me in on the team to help you through you hard times. =]
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