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' It's these things that make us thankful to be alive' - December 9th 2010, 04:54 PM

I remember being in a lot of little to medium car crashes over my life, but one that i always have niggling at the back of my mind was one when I was 4. Its the earliest memory I can remember.

It was a really big crash. It was rainy, twilight and me, my mother and my brother were on our way home from school. We used to live in quite a country area, in Norfolk. I remember sitting in the back seat, on the right side, and I saw this huge lorry driving down towards us on the other side of the road. When it got near to us it suddenly spun out of control because of all the mud and water on the road.
I remember seeing this huge lorry crash directly into my side of the car, and I remember a searing pain all over my body. The inside of the car was incredibly smokey and my brother was sitting on the left side of the car crying. My mum reached her hand round the back seat and unhooked me from my car seat, and the got out the car as she couldnt get us out. My door had been fucked up badly and wouldnt open, so i had to pull myself out of my brothers side. I remember lying on the floor in pain, I'd never felt so horribly bad.
Somehow though, no one died, or even had to get stitches. Even the lorry driver. I was cut and incredibly bruised, but fine. I should have died, my mum should have died, the lorry driver should have died, my brother should have died.

I was telling my close friend about this today, and she turned and said to me 'It's these kind of things that make us thankful to be alive'

But i don't feel thankful, in fact, everyday I wish I had died.


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Re: ' It's these things that make us thankful to be alive' - December 12th 2010, 02:04 PM

What makes you feel this way everyday?

Certainly being alive after all these events is something to be thankful for, but I can see there is something going on in your life that is seemingly canceling this out.
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Re: ' It's these things that make us thankful to be alive' - December 12th 2010, 08:53 PM

Thanks for replying.
It's hard to explain, and it's a very long story.
Your response made me cry, because when I talk to my friends, they never really see that anything is wrong. No one even suspects that I could be dying inside.

So thank you, even though I don't know you, for giving me hope that there is a shred of humanity left in some people.


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