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Unhappy problem? - December 9th 2010, 11:18 PM

Last year my girlfriend left me, and ever since i haven't been the same. Before then i'd always struggled with self harm from a young-ish age, but since she's been gone things have just got worse. I've gone from being an alcoholic, to self harming, to using drugs in one year and i've just ended up turning into someone I never used to be, but at the moment I can't imagine my life any other way.
I've been to see psychiatrists but they all say the same thing "we'll refer you to an open counselling service" which never does anything, so i've ruled out seeking medical advice. Some days I'll be fine, but others i'll hit rock bottom, but i notice that im rarely ever 'happy', i'm always just content, but I always feel kinda empty. I use drugs pretty much every day now, which seems to ease off the feeling, but I'm really just wondering whether it's normal? I self-harmed a lot last year, but stopped until recently when it happened again. I find myself getting angry easily over nothing, and sometimes I get such extreme mood changes (for example i was sitting in class the other day watching a rom-com and after i left class i felt so angry i could have hit someone and there was absolutely NO reason for it), i find myself lashing out easily, but as easily as i can get into a bad mood i can snap out of it.
I know that the drug use isn't helping, but stopping isn't really an option at the moment. I don't think i would ever kill myself as my ex tried to a couple of years ago and i was the one who had to take her to hospital and i had to watch what her family and friends had to go through and all the pain it caused, but these changes in my personality are coming more frequently and more severely so i guess im just worried about what im capable of cause the thoughts that go through my head sometimes certainly aren't healthy.
sorry for the longgggg msg, would appreciate anyone's views on this, am i just over-reacting or do you think i've got something wrong? thanks.


"There's nothing different about me. I'm just another bored male, approaching 30, in a dead-end job, who lives for the weekend. Casual sex, watered-down lager, heavily cut drugs. And occasionally kicking fuck out of someone."
   
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Re: problem? - December 11th 2010, 02:04 AM

I took a look to see how many other threads go unanswered and read yours. Coincidentally yours is very similar to mine in most aspects. In fact a few months ago that couldve even been me typing what u wrote.... I don't think what we have is normal, I'm sure it's subconsious reprocussions from our ex's. I'd advise you try and get ahold of some form of rehab centre because drugs can really fuck you up over a period of time, it's what made me drop the habit, that and it's expenses.

Well now you have one response, if you get any better then tell me how you did it cos a lot of the time I just feel fucking miserable and pessimistic about everything.
   
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Re: problem? - December 11th 2010, 08:37 AM

cheers, i appreciate the reply! yeah i know i should probably get help for the drugs, thing is i know it's bad for me, but i don't want to stop? if that makes any sense.. there was a point where i thought i'd got better, this was about a six months ago or so, but that was when i was relying on alcohol instead. Obviously it's not ideal, but anything to keep you from feeling crap right?
Some days it can be alright, but if i don't have any bud then i literally feel like i can't get through the day and i'll end up drinking or something. things are definitely a lot better than they were this time last year, i'm just wondering how long this feeling will last :/


"There's nothing different about me. I'm just another bored male, approaching 30, in a dead-end job, who lives for the weekend. Casual sex, watered-down lager, heavily cut drugs. And occasionally kicking fuck out of someone."
   
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Re: problem? - December 12th 2010, 07:14 AM

No worries man, and makes perfect sense to me, I have the same problem with my chain smoking and used to with alcohol. You're right it's not ideal by a long shot but it's better for you than drugs. I guess if it's weed then if it's keeping you together then better that than getting drunk and killing someone.....

I'm not entirely sure why I'm trying to help, you don't solve one solution by stacking the exact same solution on top lol. Keep it together man, always up for a chat.
   
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Re: problem? - December 12th 2010, 08:54 AM

cheers man, means a lot, nice to know there's someone who actually knows what i'm on about for once! hope you're doing good


"There's nothing different about me. I'm just another bored male, approaching 30, in a dead-end job, who lives for the weekend. Casual sex, watered-down lager, heavily cut drugs. And occasionally kicking fuck out of someone."
   
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