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missbluesky Offline
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Lost - December 15th 2010, 07:14 AM

I haven't felt so empty in so long. I thought that I have reached out of the place that I use to be, but it just seems as if recently I keep on going back there and just dwell.

I don't know how to iterate my exact feelings or thoughts. I just seem to be everywhere. I keep on thinking about things or events that happened or I just think of things that might happen, and I either get really angry or really upset. Recently, in class we were talking about anxieties, and traumatic events. upon that topic, I felt as if I was reliving a nightmare again when thoughts of what my father did to my mother and I surfaced. I never noticed how frightened I really am of that one time my father hit me. I felt just so terrible and frightened in class.

I think that's the point where I started to feel so lost again. I feel as if I don't know what I want. I want to be alone sometimes but I don't like to be alone. I just don't know what to do to be happy again. Happiness seems so short and good times end so fast; how do I find a continual source of happiness? When could I feel content with who I am and what I'm doing.

I feel as if everyone knows about my problems dealing with my family and my love life. It just drives me insane whenever I look at someone, and I feel like they see it; they see everything that happened to me. I hate having that feeling where they are looking down at me, where they sympathize me, and think I'm so much less of a person than they are. I just want to beat them up; just sock the crap out of them. Yet, I feel terrible. I know they are right in some sense. I'm pathetic in many ways. I don't feel like listing my failures.

I just don't know what to live up to. I don't know how people see me, who I am disappointing or surprising. I don't know where I stand in life. I feel so lost and lonely.

No matter what I do or who I am with, I just feel so alone. I really don't know what to do anymore.
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Life17 Offline
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Re: Lost - December 16th 2010, 01:34 AM

Keep vibin I think that you are gonna find your way and happiness just keep holding on and dont give up.
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harley Offline
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Re: Lost - December 16th 2010, 04:23 AM

if you need to talk to someone we are there to listen we can help you and things will get better dont thinh that people look down at you thay probly want to help to
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feeeliciamxox Offline
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Lightbulb Re: Lost - December 18th 2010, 09:02 PM

I feel the exact same way. It's like nobody seems to care anymore. Absoloutely nobody understands, or sees how lost and hurt I actually am... but I can't tell. Because like I said, people either judge or want you to suck it up.

So I'm keeping it inside. I'm honestly scared of where it will land me... lol...

"And I wonder what it's like to walk around Weightless, to jump for my heart and just never come down? To know the potential of true human will, without all this damn gravity dragging me down?" ~ Jennifer Nettles, (Gravity)

Smiles! -Felicia
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