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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Havnt been on here in a while.. - December 15th 2010, 10:08 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Hello everyone. I havnt been on TH due to me attempting suicide by taking a large amount of prescription pain killers and slitting my wrists. I was bleeding out when my parents found me, apparently in a seizure. I was in a coma for quite some time, all that while unwillingly hanging on to life in physical and mental anguish. I've lost everything. My life is ruined and I can honestly say I have failed at life. Im in the worst depression I have ever experienced and there is no hope of getting out of this deep dark hole. I dont want to live anymore. I dont know what to do. I dont want to wake up in the mornings and I wish someone blew my brains out. My intention of writing this is so people can help me and maybe let me see the light out of this pitch black eternity I call living.
   
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Re: Havnt been on here in a while.. - December 15th 2010, 12:46 PM

It sounds like life has not been nice to you. But then again, it has royally screwed up alot of us. Normally, I would say that everyone wants to die until they've got the noose around their throat or the blade at their wrist, but you sound like you've gone all the way and are more seriosu than anyone i've ever met. if you're gone, alot of people, whether you know them or not, are gonna be upset. you see someone die on the news and you immediately feel sorrow for the loss of a life, even if you've never seen them or heard their name before. life is infinitely precious. think of it this way; ive wanted to kill myself plenty of times, but what would happen if i did? my siblings and parents would be upset. how can you help the world if you're dead? hang on and good luck. rmemebr, you're no good to ppl dead.
   
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Re: Havnt been on here in a while.. - December 15th 2010, 01:14 PM

Thank you. I cant stop feeling the constant nothingness that has became of my heart. I honestly have no fear of death anymore. I am planning on this being my last week, so I want to find out how people have joy in life so I could possibly grasp the meaning of my own existance. I feel worthless and ive pondered the question that out of billions of other human beings, what makes me special? I cant come up with an answer. It deeply disturbs me.
Coming from a someone that will most likely be dead soon, please just talk to me. Im alone in this world. Im not going to push my opinions on anyone and I just want to find meaning in my life. I want to have the answers before I go, so in those last moments I might be able to find tranquility.
   
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Re: Havnt been on here in a while.. - December 16th 2010, 01:21 AM

The worst pain I ever felt emotionally was knowing that I failed at taking my own life. Afterward I had to face my parents and many other people and felt shame. Think once again Ive failed everyone around me and I'm still living with this pain that I tried to get rid of. The thought of killing myself emerged every time I had to relive my story to every therapist whom claim they could help. One day I said to myself I am gonna try one more time to give life my all and if I fail terribly then I would really know its time to let go. I talk to a therapist who said I had to be hospitalized and meet so many people who made me feel like life is worth it and I will never let no one till this day say live isn't worth living. I encourage you to say I am going to give life my all and I am going to be praying and with that together I promise things will get better. Plz stay in touch.<3
   
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