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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Disclosure. Offline
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Unhappy Here and there. - December 22nd 2010, 09:28 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So tonight, I'm really struggling. I just want to scream out and telling everyone I'm not ok. The weight of everything that's going on is really starting to make me crack under the pressure. The thought of everyone being happy for me being accepted into University totally back-fired right into my face. My friend who I had seen or spoken to in 6 years because we went to different High Schools, deleted and blocked me on Facebook as he doesn't want to "waste his time getting to know me anymore since I'm going to be studying in another state" and my parents refuse for me to go to University.
I'm desperately looking for another part-time/full-time job but I can't find one. I applied for a job a while back and had an interview. I received an e-mail for them saying that I'm on top of their list for successful applicants but they have to interview another 2 people after the New Year and when business's start for 2011. So I have to wait a few more weeks till I find out if I've got the job and if I don't get it then I don't know what I'm going to do. I might as well go to University interstate.
I'm just so sick of everyone treating me like shit. This other guy is just using me for my body and I'm sick of it. I'm just not into anything anymore. I just want to go somewhere and not have to talk or see anyone for hours on end so I can understand what I want in life. I know I need help, I know I need to see a councillor or talk to someone I trust but sometimes I think "What's the point?" I've already seen 2 councillors in the past and both of them, over time, realised that I was better and I don't really trust anyone. But I'm not OK. I see everyone else having fun with their family, best friends and with their boyfriend/girlfriend and I think to myself "Why can't I be like that? Why can't I be happy?"


   
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Re: Here and there. - December 22nd 2010, 10:23 AM

Hey there. Sounds like you need a vacation eh? Congrats on getting accepted to the university! That is awesome, and is a huge accomplishment. You should be proud, even though it seems like a negative thing for you. You have to remember that things do get better. And I know people seem happy on the outside, but that isn't always the case on the inside. If you feel you need help, I would get your parents involved, so they can get you decent help. Your life is a bit un organized sounding. I feel like if you get some help, you can re gather yourself. As for the job, I would continue to search if you don't get the job you are waiting on. I know that it sucks to have to wait and search.

And the guy who is using you. You are worth SO much more then that. Don't put up with him, he is not worth your amazingness. <3 Plus, he is not worth the added stress. If I were you, I would get rid of him, because he probably doesn't help how you feel. And maybe start doing things for yourself. Meaning, have some 'you' time. You deserve to be happy. You are such a great person. Just remember to breathe, and remember that things work out the way they are suppose to. I am always always here for you. I know I am not mmuch help right now. It's like 3 in the morning. I hope I was able to make you smile in some way.

Smile, dear, it's good for you.<3


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Re: Here and there. - December 22nd 2010, 06:54 PM

Hey there,

You can be happy. Right now you might be struggling but you can and will get to a better place. Just keep holding on.

It can be really difficult to have something good happen but not have the support you need. It is fantastic you got into Uni and if it is something you want than go for it. Don't let other peoples response to it change your mind. It might be hard but sometimes we have to do things for ourselves that upset other people. You can do whatever you put your mind too.

As for the guy that is using you; you definitely are worth so much more than all that. You don't deserve that. You can find a guy who will treat you with the respect you deserve but firstly you have to start treating yourself with respect. Respect yourself and your body and the rest will come. It might take time but it will happen. Love yourself, okay?

I really hope this helped and if you need anything feel free to pm/vm me.

Jenna


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Re: Here and there. - December 23rd 2010, 05:24 PM

Congratulations on getting into Uni! You are youre own person, who makes their own decisions, so with regards to further education, you have to do whatever you feel is right. Iv had troubles with my family and education issues. I wanted to study all music, full time. Whereas my parents thought that would be 'limiting my options', but instead I have made the decision to go ahead with all music, and im confident that iv made the right decision. You have to do something that makes you happy.

CourageousSurvivor is right, you deserve someone who treats you with respect.

I know it gets tough, but you will get past these difficulties. Just belive that things will get better, and give it time, and things will improve.


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