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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Silverseven Offline
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But sometimes it's not just me that i want ... - December 23rd 2010, 03:27 AM

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I cant do it. All i hear is suicide wont help, there is no rhyme or reason to it. When a mortal has tried everything the options thin out more and more. Then one day I turned the knife around and realized it isn't me, it's them. When the knife can only be stuck within others or myself. Who is to blame? God is eternal and untainted in a world where he himself has watched his own "children" grow grotesque and watches this knife that is material and metaphorical. I want to put this animosity and darkness away , i really do, but when this hate and agony i've been force fed since a young age flows more fluid than nitrocell in my veins, it's almost like I'm just a spectator through my own eyes and that someone or something is what is controlling me; that darkness. I could spend hours explaining the problem and you would still never be able to relate it to your own experiences. I will keep it simple: When i've tried this hard to live as a man I want to be, the problem can't just be me, and only one of these options is possible. The third is out of my reach.
   
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Re: But sometimes it's not just me that i want ... - December 23rd 2010, 04:02 AM

No matter what your problem is, chances are it's not you're fault. Abuse, bullying, all of that good stuff contributes and it's more or less out of your control that other people can be cruel. And suicide won't help, and here's my reason: it's essentially quitting when life starts to suck rather than proving to others and yourself that you're better than to let them treat you this way and letting them affect you in this way. As for the god comment, I really don't think he's to blame when it's one man who chooses to treat another inhumanely, it's that man. The consequences of the world we face today are the results of our actions, fair or unfair, just or unjust, etc etc. What we have to deal with isn't always full of karma, but the best we can do is adapt and improve.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: But sometimes it's not just me that i want ... - December 28th 2010, 02:46 AM

You are right. And I will listen to you... and not just because I love Pendulum and your pic is of my favorite drum n bass album of all time by them.
   
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Re: But sometimes it's not just me that i want ... - December 28th 2010, 05:53 AM

It's times like this I enjoy having a beastly taste of music, haha. Anyways you're already much closer to feeling better seeing as you're willing to accept someone else's help rather than just going "Screw you, life sucks and you're wrong".


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: But sometimes it's not just me that i want ... - December 28th 2010, 07:37 AM

Life is great, but im insatiatble. No matter what i want and get, i'd want more. You could make me God and I'd not be satisfied , i'd still be depressed and upset... im not jealous per se ... but I envy those who are happy. because I can fake that i;m fine like no one else can , but when i get like this... it's bad. I really meant everything on my first post
   
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