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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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LittleFish Offline
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Guilty :( - December 23rd 2010, 04:06 AM

I feel really guilty about unloading on my best friend all the time. I mean, I don't do it ALL the time. But I told her about something really scary the other night, and she said she was starting to freak out because she didn't want to know what she would find out about next. I just need to know... Is it normal for me to feel guilty about worrying her so much? Should I feel guilty? And... I don't get why she's so worried, even though I know she cares about me...
   
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Re: Guilty :( - December 23rd 2010, 04:18 AM

It's normal; but about your friend being scared: You probably suffer through things she doesn't. None of my closest friends have depression, so they don't get why my mind works the way it is.
If she wants you to stop, I suggest you stop even though you know she cares. Call a hotline. (1-800-273-TALK) instead; they get it and won't judge.


I hope you're having a spectacular day!


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Re: Guilty :( - December 23rd 2010, 05:33 AM

It's totally natural and, as for your friend freaking out, she just doesn't quite understand how to deal with these kinds of issues and when someone doesn't know how to deal with something they're afraid to talk about it and just want to remain ignorant. If you tell someone that you're depressed and/or cutting, for example, you'd scare the crap out of them because they'd be worried that something bad could happen and would rather resort to the "if I don't know it, it's not happening" mentality. I wouldn't continue to unload in this friend unless it's some absolutely pressing matter (at this point she can get over it and do anything to help). I know it's not quite the same as someone personal knowing these things, but many people use TH as an outlet when all they need is to vent or just to see that people do care. I know this sounds like shameless self-promotion or something but that's what this site is for.


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"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
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Re: Guilty :( - December 23rd 2010, 05:51 AM

Well, it's not that she's ignorant. She understands me more than anyone. But I feel so bad, because I know she's trying so hard to listen and be supportive. I guess that's what this site is for, though, like you said. I just wish I could find a way to make her worry less now that the damage has been done.
   
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Re: Guilty :( - December 23rd 2010, 06:02 AM

What I mean is some people aren't used to or comfortable with dealing with issues like this so when someone they care about brings it up their only reaction is panic as they don't know what to do and they don't know if there will be awful repercussions by reacting poorly. As for keeping her from worrying I'd say just assure her that you're ultimately alright and won't do anything drastic.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: Guilty :( - December 23rd 2010, 06:16 AM

I have been in the friend position many times. Let me say that it is just as hard for the friend to see their friend go through things than to be the one going through them. It probably is scaring her and I think she is trying really hard to be of help. All she wants is for you to be happy. Your happiness means everything. At least, thats how I feel about my friend. Just tell her that everything is alright and if you do think that you need more help than any friend could give, I would suggest going to a counceler of some kind.


   
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