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firework Offline
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confused and need advice - January 2nd 2011, 04:27 AM

hey
so recently i have been feeling really depressed and anxious. i just started my first year of university. i have made friends with a few different groups of people but not one specific group of good friends. this scares me and makes me feel like i wont find friends and will be all alone. i had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and was put on medication 2 years ago. it was helping for a while but now the feelings are back. i dont know if this means it has stopped working. i want help for this but i dont know how to ask. i feel like i need to do something to get the attention and help i want. i want to hurt myself but i am too scared. i think it would help me deal.
thank you!
   
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Re: confused and need advice - January 2nd 2011, 06:08 AM

Hey there,

I have been in a similar position to you as of late, so you are by no means alone. Many people have said that it becomes more difficult to cultivate close friendships as one gets older - we interact with more people, but less frequently. I am not very socially apt either, although I think that friendships should be developed naturally - and good friendships, especially, take a lot of time and plenty of other factors - such as opportunity for frequent interaction. So far, I only have two people whom I would consider friends rather than acquaintances at my university - and we became close through being in the same class and having the opportunity to work on assignments together. It sounds like you're already doing the best you can by joining student groups and putting yourself out there to meet new people, just that there have yet to be any satisfactory outcomes. Things like these can't be forced - and it's not your fault.

I think it's natural to struggle with adjusting to the university environment, socially or otherwise, in one's first year - many do, although the effects would possibly hit you harder if you are already dealing with depression and anxiety. I don't think your medication would suddenly stop working - but medication alone is often not the only factor involved in successful treatment. In order to truly be successful, you would also need to combine that with adequate coping skills and so forth that are often specific to certain circumstances. Now, new circumstances have come your way, and you may or may not be prepared to deal with them - many are not, so don't feel bad about struggling, that is perfectly okay.

Is it possible to go back to the same person that prescribed you the medication originally? That would be ideal, for they are already more or less familiar with your history. If not, there should be a counselling service on campus somewhere - those people have lots of experience dealing with concerns specific to students, and would also be able to make referrals if necessary.

Whatever you do, don't start self-harming - you should know the risks, so I won't repeat them, but if not, do take a look at some of the threads in the self harm forum. It's not going to make anything better in the long run, on the other hand, there is a large possibility of it making things worse.

Take care, and feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.
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Re: confused and need advice - January 2nd 2011, 06:48 AM

Please don't start self harming, it is not the way to go. Coming to a new school is always hard and it does take time to adjust. You need to get used to a new enviorment and new people and its a big deal. Can be overwelming at times. Friendships take time as well but you will soon make some wonderful friends. Don't give up! This may help as well, I have found that you find the best of friends in the people you NEVER, EVER thought you'd be friends with. That is how I have found my VERY good friends, including my best friend. I had only talked to her once until we were paired up for the science fair. It went on from there and we have now been friends for almost 6 years. Things will get better, I promise. Stay strong and I am here if you ever need someone to talk to.


   
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Re: confused and need advice - January 2nd 2011, 03:33 PM

Don't go to a place where your last option is self harm. You know what, self harm shouldn't even be an option! I have dealt with it and I'm still dealing with it, very bad habit. I know the feeling of not knowing who your true friends are yet and not having any good friends leading you to isolation. Just give it some more time. I promise at least one person will come along.
Also with the meds, maybe your body got use to them. That's what happened to me. You should chat with your doctor about that.


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Re: confused and need advice - January 2nd 2011, 04:05 PM

Sweetheart,
You have just gone through an imense transition; things will be different. Your reacting due to the stress of it all.. As someone else has mentioned, apparently "we interact less closely with age due to being in contact with more people" I think I truely see that in myself. Your 18, a difficult age for anyone. Medication does change ability to work as efficiently as it once did. Sometimes they just require some fine-tuning, other times. Are you in contact with someone who can help you with that? I think friends are important in support terms, but to let you talk about these thoughts and feelings it would probably be useful to have someone a little more professional - does your uni have a counsellor? Most do, I'm not sure how easy it'd be to get the info on them but hopefully it would be pretty easy..
Self-harming is not a good idea. If you haven't before, it's really not a good idea to make it an option.
*Hugs being sent your way*


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