I Hate Living Like This

[kag22]

I dunno where to start...

I have my good days, but most of the time i just feel soo depressed, and most of the time i don't even know why i'm depressed. I don't know what to do. I wish that I wasn't so extremely shy and could actually talk to the other kids in my class. I got bullied in middle school, so maybe i'm afraid of that happening again. I barely speak to anyone except my friends. And even when I'm with them I'm not completely comfortable about telling them if something's bothering me, sometimes even they don't understand me. Sometimes if I'm depressed I won't talk to them, and instead of asking what's wrong they'll make fun of me and say "why are you being so crabby?" How is it that I can be with friends or in a room full of people but still feel alone and invisible? i've always been single so when a few of my friends started dating that just made me feel worse, I've always wanted a boyfriend. I'm sick always being miserable, but I haven't told anyone cause I don't think they'd understand.

Sorry if this didn't make much sense, I tried my best.

[sadprincess]

I know exactly how you feel, as I have been feeling like that for years. I was 6 years when I was bullied for the first time, other children would leave me all by myself, and at my 7th birthday party they sang happy birthday to "fatty".. And I've been bullied throughout years till I was 16 and started in my current school...

I think that all the years of bullying and depression related to that have made me very careful in trusting people and I don't have many close friends and my friends don't know me very well... The only person who knows me entirely is my fiancé and perhaps one day with his support I will be able to do trust people again.

Not trusting people makes you feel so lonely and invisible even when you're not really alone. Not being fully yourself will drain your energy and not having anyone to understand you, makes it all even worse. But luckily here you have people who understand you and if you feel like you need to talk someone, just PM me

[kag22]

Thank you

It's so nice knowing someone else knows how I feel

I can't trust anyone either. It feels like everytime I do start trusting someone they do something to hurt me or betray me.

I'm trying to keep my self busy to keep me from getting depressed, and I try to talk to my best friend everyday. But I still can't stand the how shy I am with other people

[Carpe Diem]

Hey, I can relate to a few of your problems as well. I've also had problems with being shy, and not being myself with large groups of people. I've also had problems telling my friends my problems, and I've never had a girlfriend . Just letting you know you're not the only one out there with these problems, and you'll most likely overcome them as you grow, so don't feel down!

[kag22]

Thanks

I really hope I grow out of being so quiet, i'm trying but it's hard.

[Nicole!]

Hey there Katie

Don't worry, you're not alone. It can be tough being single and to be craving for some love. But you're only 16 so you have plenty of time to find that special someone. Relationships are sometimes more work then they're worth too.
It takes time to open up, so every few days try and do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. It might not be fun, but it will help you grow to be an outgoing person. My therapist once told me that some people are born shy, but it is possible to overcome it, so don't worry, theres hope
As for your friends, maybe try telling them that your going through a tough patch and you would love their support. They are your friends for a reason, to be there for you and to love you.

Take care dear

[kag22]

Thanks Melody

I forgot to put that being single is hard on me because I was really close to this one guy and I really liked him. I told him, but it never happened. And then a couple months ago he said that if I had done things differently that we might've ended up together. So that really weighs down on me sometimes, I can't get over it

But on the brightside, I had an archery tournament today. I started talking to this one girl there and found out that we have a lot in common! And she said she couldn't wait to see me again, I made a new friend! yay!