Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kotomi Offline
Divine {Odinaa}
Not a n00b
Kotomi's Avatar
Name: Kotomi
Age: 27
Gender: Bigender
Location: ID

Posts: 64
Join Date: January 14th 2009

Exclamation I can't do this anymore - February 22nd 2011, 01:31 PM

I gave in to her wishes yesterday. I smoked pot for the first time after about a year of sobriety. I am shot.

I don't want to live like this...even if if the maximum we can smoke a week is just ONE time. I can't do this. I didn't decide to forgive her for lying to me for a year about drugs just so I can start back up again with her! She is absolutely obsessed with pot now it seems like. I remember last night she wanted to get another bowl (even though we still had some brownies).

What I'm trying to do now is just be anybody and everything she needs me to be. I'll be honest though....

...I won't last long.

I'm starting to want to die.

  (#2 (permalink)) Old
you'rebeautiful Offline
believe it :)
Average Joe
you'rebeautiful's Avatar
Name: Ada
Age: 27
Gender: Female

Posts: 142
Join Date: January 30th 2011

Re: I can't do this anymore - February 24th 2011, 10:05 PM

Hey there.
I'm really sorry that you're under so much pressure... it looks like you're in a pretty complicated relationship. But more importantly, it looks right now as if you're also in a pretty unhealthy one. First thing first, I do wish both of you the absolute best... but neither of you can be your best if you aren't living for yourselves. And right now, you're the one who isn't. You aren't happy, and you're doing things that make you not only uncomfortable but deeply distressed. This isn't something that you deserve, and anyone who cares for you won't want this to be the case for you.

From what I've read, I can tell that this girl really means a lot... you're very keen on being whatever she needs you to be. But if it's that important, then it's equally if not more important that you take proper care of yourself. If you don't, then you may not be able to be anything for her at all. If you're putting yourself (or being put) under so much pressure that you're not sure how long you'll be able to go on... there's a big problem there. To fix it, the two of you might have to agree on some things for the sake of your relationship, and for the sake of you. One of these things may have to be certain types of sobriety... and from what you've written, it looks like drugs should be a strict no. That's obviously important to you, and if she cares for you as you care for her, she should respect that. Talk to her. This girl should be in this relationship for you just as much as you're in this relationship for her. And if it's not important enough to her to agree to whatever conditions are best and fair for both of you, then you deserve a great deal more than what she's willing to offer. My guess, though, is that she'll be willing and happy to do what she can help you be healthy, happy, and whole. Again, I wish you both the absolute best... Let me know if there's anything at all that I can do for you. I'm always around to talk. Best of luck<3.

I believe thatyou're inherently beautiful : )

Last edited by you'rebeautiful; February 24th 2011 at 10:18 PM.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Katrina Offline
you only live once.
I can't get enough
Katrina's Avatar
Name: Katrina
Gender: Female
Location: New York.

Posts: 3,114
Blog Entries: 4
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: I can't do this anymore - February 24th 2011, 10:05 PM

Hey there,

First off, let me just say that I regret not having stumbled upon your thread earlier. Since it has been a few days, though, since you posted this - how have you been doing? As with...well, almost anything...eating disorders, anxiety disorders, self harm issues, there are absolutely going to be slip ups in what you're dealing with. A year of sobriety? That's incredible. Give yourself a huge pat on the back for that...and also know that one slip up isn't going to erase your progress. You still have every reason to keep moving forward in a healthy way. Don't feel like you've let yourself down...keep going.

Something I've learned over the past few years is that when you're attempting to help those who may be struggling with substance addictions or addictions of any sort, you REALLY cannot be what they want you to be, or even what they THINK they need you to be. No, you often have to be exactly what they do not want. You have to be compassionate and understanding, but you have to be the one to set the positive example and not be afraid to say yes or no, depending on the situation...you know? Clearly you're not helping yourself here, looking at your last two sentences. You don't deserve that. Its not meant to be that way. And to go out on a limb, you're really not helping her either as far as recovering from her addiction goes - smoking with her is not going to help her... :/ Its tough to be the friend who has to say no, but sometimes, its about all there is left to do.

You hang in there, and don't forget to take care of yourself.

  Send a message via MSN to Katrina  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Junior TeenHelper
lilmissdontwannabehere's Avatar
Name: Lex
Age: 23
Gender: Female

Posts: 238
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: December 17th 2010

Re: I can't do this anymore - February 25th 2011, 03:42 PM

Hi, I actually honor how much you seem to care about her by trying to be whatever she needs. But as much as i hate to say this, sometimes you need to do what is best for yourself. Who knows, maybe if you stop helping her with it and get help or do whatever you need to do for YOU she will notice it and do somthing to help herself. You might feel better also. It may hurt at first but it will probs help you. XOXO
Closed Thread



Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright ©1998-2020, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.