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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Candice Offline
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Name: Candice
Age: 27
Gender: Female

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Join Date: February 22nd 2011

It's not a far walk - February 22nd 2011, 09:59 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I guess I'll start by introducing myself. My name is Candice. I'm 18. I'm new here. I've been depressed since I was really young and started cutting when I was 13. I always thought of ways to kill myself, but I didn't ever think I'd want to go through with it.

Back in November, I finally opened up about my depression. I honestly thought getting professional help would stop me. It didn't help at all. It actually made it worse.

One night when I was just really fed up with everything, I heard the train going by. Immediately, I thought about how easy it would be to just die and be done with this.

Now, I'm finally talking to my father for the first time in my life. We started talking a week and half ago after I turned 18. It makes me happy talking to him. I know he loves me and he misses me. He couldn't do anything about what happened when I was a baby.

A friend of mine who was always there for me isn't there anymore. He got mad at me and won't talk to me because I wanted to talk about how I was feeling. He just flipped out. My boyfriend of 3 years started ignoring me about 3 or 4 weeks ago, and I broke up with him today.

I feel like they just don't want me back in their lives now. I can't think clearly. I've been on antibiotics for 5 days now and I don't know if they're making me feel this way or if it would have happened without them.

I want to kill myself. I want to go to train tracks tonight and just end everything. I don't even think people would notice. I'll end up being another statistic. People at school will forget me after graduation. I'll never be good enough for this world, so why stay here?

I'm tired.
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Ella.x Offline
I've been here a while
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Re: It's not a far walk - February 22nd 2011, 10:32 PM

Hey, it's good that you're talking to your dad again. Antibiotics can do weird things to you and could be causing you to feel strange. I have found in my experience that some professional help can make you feel worse, while some can help, so it may be a good idea to stick to it and try some new things.

sorry I can't be of more help. Keep your chin up and good luck! x
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Blair Offline
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Re: It's not a far walk - February 22nd 2011, 11:08 PM

Candice...listen up for a minute...please. You're only 18 and you know what? Maybe there's someone out there who needs you. Yeah. People need you. People who maybe haven't even met yet. Cmon. Honey, give yourself a chance to find whatever it is you're looking for. Don't kill yourself. that's just garunteing you'll die unhappy. If you wanna talk please pm me

Just Keep Breathing
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*CatchingStars* Offline
Healing my soul
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Re: It's not a far walk - February 22nd 2011, 11:27 PM

hey i know ur in a bad position i had the same problem ur having with ur dad but it was with my mom but u got to understand that life will always have its ups and downs u just need to now how to handle them it will never be easy no one said it will be i know how u feel but if u give up now then u have nothign to show ur streanth to prove those ppl u are something and u do deserve to live instead of thinking they wont notice u make urself notice do something that will make u feel better like a spa treatment relax ur self takeurself away fromall this stress go on vacation for awhil if u need to pm me go ahead u can talk to me if u like

Life is too

Short to spend

It at war with


Iím catching stars in the sky because I am fixing the soul within me. May it be from the heart a girl broke years ago or my soul simply repairing itself as it was shattered on my walk on this earth. May the stardust fill those cracks within my soul making me brand new, but never forgetting who I once was.

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