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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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no one will listen - February 25th 2011, 03:19 PM

I've been having a hard time for awhile now, and for the past week I've been very suicidal. I'm in college at the moment, and I really want to take a health leave and go to the hospital, but my mom and therapist think I can pull through. How can I tell them I can't do this on my own? My parents don't know it's this bad, but my therapist does. She keeps telling me to wait a few days until my meds kick in again (went off them for awhile), and then make a rational decision. She made me promise not to do anything, but I don't think I can keep that promise. I just can't deal with life anymore. All the options I have right now suck, and I just can't deal with this pain. I really think I need to go to the hospital, but at the same time I don't want to. I want to stay here and go through school and pull through. I just don't think I can....

Before you ask, yes I have a plan. I know exactly what I would do, and I just keep imagining it over and over, and it seems like such a peaceful thing. Better than my other options....

I guess I want to know how I can tell my support system that I can't do this anymore, and also I just want to be left alone so I can go through with it. The two sides inside my head :/
   
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Re: no one will listen - February 25th 2011, 03:25 PM

Heyy Laura.
Maybe you should tell your parents its as bad as it is. I know it must be a struggle but they might be able to help you and get you the leave you need. Just stay strong and hang on in there. when the med kicks in it might help.
Remember you can always PM me if you need to. i hope you're feeling better soon. x


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the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: no one will listen - February 25th 2011, 05:12 PM

i agree with above, try to talk to your parents again and try to explain that you need help. If you feel that you are going to go through with killing yourself then go ahead and go to the hospitial on your own. Saving yor life is more important than keeping a promise to your therapist.


We do not fear death, we fear that no one will notice our absence. That we will disappear without a trace.
   
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Re: no one will listen - February 25th 2011, 10:15 PM

I tried talking to my mom today, and she's starting to understand. But she's so disappointed. She's sure that I can do this, but I really don't know. She's starting to understand how low I am, but I still don't think she fully understands. She gets so mad whenever I talk about health leave, like it would be the end of the world. And she said she will not let me go to the hospital. She won't allow it. She says that she's seen rock bottom and she doesn't believe that I've hit it.

I can't deal with this anymore. I don't know how to express what I'm feeling, and I can't keep feeling like this. If I go home, my parents will be disappointed, and the hospital isn't an option. If I stay I have to live like this while going to classes. I don't really have any other option. I can't go through with it tonight because I'm staying with my mom, but tomorrow I'm just not sure. I'd truly rather die than continue fighting like this about something that I can't express or control.
   
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Re: no one will listen - February 26th 2011, 06:26 PM

I've decided that the best option is suicide. If I still feel this low by tonight, I am going to overdose. I just don't see better options. Last night I just had constant dreams where I killed myself over and over again. I just can't do this. If I still feel this way tonight, I know what I have to do.
   
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Re: no one will listen - February 26th 2011, 06:41 PM

Don't do it! I promise it'll get better. I may not know exactly how you're feeling, but I guarantee that it'll get better eventually, it always does! Please endure this! We're here to support you!


Carpe Diem: Seize the Day/Moment. -Horace

Veni, Vidi, Vici: I came, I saw, I conquered -Julius Caesar
   
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Re: no one will listen - February 26th 2011, 07:20 PM

Please dont do that! Overdosing is probably the slowest most painful way to go. ive tried it.. it sucks SOO MUCH!! You are an adult..you can go to the hospital w/o your moms approval. Think how terrible she will feel when she relizes how serious you were and she stopped you from getting the help you need. It will crush her. TH is here to help you. Im here, if you wana talk.


"One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor
   
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Re: no one will listen - February 27th 2011, 12:59 AM

I really wish there was another option. Now I don't even want to go to the hospital. I just want this to end. I'm partying with my friends tonight, and if I don't feel better after that or just pass out, I really don't see another option. I know this sounds so illogical and stupid, but for me it's the only thing.
   
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Re: no one will listen - February 27th 2011, 04:09 PM

I made it through the night, but that's only because I drank until I passed out. I thought the party last night would make me feel better, but I just feel worse. I don't know what to do. I really think I need to go through with this. I just don't see other options.
   
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