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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Aintzane411 Offline
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Unhappy How do I help my friend? - February 26th 2011, 09:58 PM

So, a couple of friends and I were at a sleepover last night and we started playing Truth or Truth (No Dare, since it was late at night. ). One of my friends asked the group if anyone had attempted suicide. We all said no, but she said that she has attempted five times before. She openly explained to us what she had done, which included pills, knives, and a gun. It really worried me.

I'm also 90% sure that she cuts herself. A few times she's made remarks about cutting, and I can't figure out how to approach her. I cut, too, but not as much as I think she does.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to talk to her about this? Her last suicide attempt was only a few months ago, she told us. I'm really worried about her, but I don't want to do anything that might make things worse. I don't want to lose my friend...
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Re: How do I help my friend? - February 26th 2011, 10:30 PM

Hey Amelia, and welcome to TH. I'm glad that you want to help your friend. Actually, it's been proven that talking about suicide with someone won't "put the idea in their head" or make a situation worse. Let her know that you want to talk about it because you care and you're worried about her. Suggest that she tell an adult who can help or get her help and be there to support her.


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Re: How do I help my friend? - February 27th 2011, 04:14 AM

one of the best things you can do is just be a good friend. and let her know that your there from her.


"Flick a swith (*snap!) I want you to give yourself permission and the power to say (*Snap!) F IT! I'm going to be happy! i'm going to enjoy my life! and I'm not going to let anyone or anything ruin my day, and ruin my life!"
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Re: How do I help my friend? - February 27th 2011, 04:22 AM

Thanks for the suggestions. Just one more question, for anyone who has input. How should I approach her? I think it would be a little awkward for both of us at school, especially since one of the girls who was at the sleepover is one of our best friends. Should I talk to our best friend and have both of us talk to her? Or would that be too much like "ganging up" on her? Hmm.
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Re: How do I help my friend? - February 27th 2011, 05:55 AM

Be supportive, tell her you're there for her and to listen. Doesn't seem like much but trust me, it makes a world of difference to some people.

EDIT: as for your other question, I guess it doesn't really matter; if she's touchy, she's touchy. If both you and your friends feel the same way, approach her and let her know everyone cares about her.


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Re: How do I help my friend? - February 27th 2011, 09:25 AM

Hey Amelia,

I'm really sorry to hear that your friend has been struggling lately but I'm glad to see that you're wanting to support her and that you have come here to reach out and ask for advice on the best way to do that. I'm sure that there are many more people who wish they had such a concerned and willing to help friend like you are.

As for actually bringing the topic of conversation up with her, that's never easy and I guess it's always going to be a little uncomfortable. Perhaps you could say something like "Hey, you know at the sleepover the other night when we were playing truth or truth and you were explaining something of the things that have happened in your past?" I guess that would be one way of approaching the topic of conversation without being completely blunt and it gives her some time to figure out where you're going with the conversation. I'm sure she won't mind because at the end of the day you just want her to know that you're there for her and that you want to support her which is what any good friend does.

If you ever want someone to talk to then feel free to PM or VM me at anytime as I'm always more than happy to talk about everything and anything. I hope that your friend is feeling better soon and that you're able to give her the support that you're so desperate to give her. I hope that I was able to help you in one way or another!

Take care. <3





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Re: How do I help my friend? - March 2nd 2011, 04:59 AM

Thanks for the advice, you guys. I'll definetly keep all this in mind. I ended up telling my mom and my own therapist, and they gave me suggestions as well. My mom and I are probably going to take her to coffee or ice cream to just talk, the three of us.
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Re: How do I help my friend? - March 2nd 2011, 07:09 AM

Good luck, hope all goes well.


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